What the fuck? I love a good thunderstorm, the louder, boomier, crashier, flashier the better. But after a couple of weeks of pretty much daily thunderstorms, it has become a tad tiresome. I can honestly say that the novelty has most definitely worn off. And I'm becoming tiresome about it too - I WILL repeat "Hey, Florida called, they want their weather back" until SOMEBODY laughs. I fucking mean it.
But yesterday's storm was the most alarming one so far. Funnel clouds? Off the coast of New England? Those of you out there who think climate change is a left wing scare tactic, I'd like to put it to you - why is the Northeast getting all this awful tropical weather? Hmmm? I don't care what anyone says, THIS IS NOT FUCKING NORMAL. Anyway, I'm almost sure Pat Robertson will say we're getting poked on the weather because Massachusetts allows gays to get married. That'd be pretty funny.
Here's another thing. Remember last summer, when I bought all those lady bugs and released them in my garden to eat other, more harmful bugs? So that I wouldn't have to spray pesticides and poison my flowers and herbs? So that I would have a healthy, vibrant, pretty lawn and garden that would attract pretty songbirds and colorful butterflies and the like without poisoning anybody? Well, no matter if YOU remember: I DID. I DID buy all those ladybugs, paid for shipping, kept them in the fridge to freak SPOUSE out (he doesn't like bugs) and then waited for an evening with the perfect weather/wind conditions to set them free on our property, thinking oh, how great to be environmentally conscious and nice to the earth and to my fellow creatures.
And then they all promptly fucked right off. Couldn't find a ladybug on our lot for the rest of the summer.
So a couple of weeks ago we went to a neighborhood barbecue and everyone was talking about the GREAT LADYBUG INVASION OF 2007. Seems all the ungrateful little bitches went to everyone else's houses, and set up residence in their yards, porches, and kitchens, instead of taking care of mine. Huh.
Hey, neighbors. YOU'RE WELCOME.