Spotty teen e-speak

I am heartily sick of this abbreviated, IM speak that I'm seeing all over the place these days. I see it in e-mails, mostly, but it's seeping into other areas as well. Is it supposed to be cute or funny or something? It is not.

Here is an example: "LOL" I take this to mean the writer is "laughing out loud." Now, are you really? Are you really laughing out loud? More likely you are merely sitting smugly at your keyboard with your pinky on the shift key, thinking you're cute. And you are not cute, you are a pillock.

Or: "OMG!" (any number of exclamation points, depending upon the level of shock, horror, amazement, surprise, glee, or extreme emotion the writer intends to convey), which I take to mean "Oh My God," and given the type of pubescent twat who generally uses it, is pronounced "Ewmigaaawwwwdddd." Clearly, anyone using this one is a fool, and doesn't mind looking like a complete asshole.

By far the worst is this one: "ROFLMAO," which I'm told means "Rolling on the floor laughing my ass off." Bollocks! You are clearly NOT rolling on the floor laughing your ass off, you are trying to make your equally stupid, vapid, lazy, asshole friends think they're funny.

I can't recall very many other examples, because I don't use this spotty teen e-speak, and whenever a friend uses it in an e-mail to me, I generally have to ask for a fucking translation, if I bother at all.

It is not cute, it is not funny, it is not clever. It is laziness, and stupidity. I mean...

WTF?......oh, shit.