Lean/Mean/Hellbentforleather/Maybe

Well now, Happy New Year!

JEEBUS though, I am most definitely in need of a fresh start after the last couple of months. Even before the holiday break got going, the unhealthy living was in full swing. Too much drink, not enough exercise, not enough sun, too much bad food, too much being out of the warren. No wonder I was being such a lapin grincheux.

But listen, I made it this far without catching some awful little bastard of a bug, so I'm still ahead of the game. Honestly can't remember the last time we entered the Christmas vacation week without either me or SPOUSE being sick in some way. So there's that. Besides a few extra pounds, living the lifestyle of a barfly (or my 25 year old self) has only left one other mark upon me - an angry pimply passenger has just in the last two days taken up residence on my upper lip. Massive, red, painful stinger, just sitting there, mocking me. (Aren't you glad you've checked in here today?) Must admit I earned it, but I shall have to resist the urge to pop it, see if I can get rid of it by ignoring it - though that is difficult as it has its own zip code, AND I think it just whispered something.

Oh, shit.

So, to borrow a meme from Sassy, holiday break adds up this way:

Rested - plus 3
No cold or flu - plus 3
Weight gain from holiday foods - minus 2
Gigantic zit - minus 3
Got good prezzies - (new laptop!) - plus 3

Overall: plus 4. (I just had to use a pencil and paper to do that math. Maybe that's a minus but I don't have the heart to penalize myself, so I won't.)

Back to work.

Happy Holidays!

Cowlick!

My new crew cut has alerted me to a cowlick I didn't know was there. I look like this:


Well, actually not quite. But I realized this morning as I was driving to work that I have cultivated a seriously lesbian look.

Oh well.

Am I missing something?

I'm sorry. This Missoni stuff everyone's going nuts over is just ugly.

It's like the 70's are not only back, they're puking all over the fashion world.

Bleeeee.

I will not eat the pissy biscuit

This is gonna take a lot of cheese to fix, Velma.

I know it's Friday, and the sun is out after a fuckin' dark, dreary...rainy? No, biblically DELUGE-Y, week. And it's also payday. But several things have conspired to put me into a really, REALLY filthy mood. Care to know? Well, I'm gonna spew here, so if you don't, move along.

Okay.

The goddamn plantar fasciitis is back. Some may remember a few summers ago I had it mostly in the right foot. Very painful, and took nearly the entire summer of that year to pamper it, do the stretches, hobbling around like a gimp...until it finally went away sometime in the fall, only to have it rear its ugly...um...head this year, trying its luck with the left foot. Why you little bastard, I oughta...

And then.

You know when you put in hours and hours on a project (which should be simpler, but with a hierarchy of assholes up the 'chain of approval' that you have to pacify at every step...and they take their friggin' time over every piece, don't get me STARTED), complete with all the paperwork, on-line parts done and approved, finances and funding set and ready to go live...and as you're one final, tiny, inconsequential step away from pressing GO on the whole frakking thing, and getting that shit up and running, the person who STARTED the thing in the first place (but has no part in planning, building, implementing it, doing ANY of the pissing legwork, just says "I think we should do this, can you get that done?") changes his mind about a major, foundational - goddammit- GAME CHANGING part of the project?

Yeah. There's that.

And then I went and spotted an ex (from WAY back) on facebook and I don't want to be friends, (hereby promise I won't to reach out in that direction) but I am now sad that I had to get curious, look at the profile, and see that face again. I'm not sentimental in the least tiny bit, have no current feelings for that gadgie, and I'm happily married and all - but the feeling of nostalgia and melancholy I have now has bitten me on my charming, cotton-tailed arse. I don't know what it is - lost youth? Regrets from days gone by? Whatever it is - I am sad. But more importantly, feelings of sadness can't just sit there in a brain-corner and be sad for a while and then fuck off back to wherever they came from - oh, no - they have a tendency to exacerbate their bad selves by the fact that just feeling sad PISSES ME RIGHT-THE-FUCK-OFF.

So I'm more angry than melancholy. Which I suppose is healthier? Or easier to move on from? I don't know. It has still soured my quiche.

And a soured quiche is unforGIVeable.

But enough whinging.

(I hear you say.)

Right.

It's a beautiful day, it's Friday, it's payday, and I've finally broken the 9 pound weight loss plateau. Started in the spring, and the first 9 pounds took about a month to go. I know about plateaus - they're a bitch, but they're natural, and you have to be patient and keep working at it. But damn, that sucked. So it took me 6 weeks of work, eating nothing but veggies, fruit, lean proteins, and working out like some kind of ...I don't know...some maniac who works out a lot...hovering at the 9 pound mark. And yes, finally, after all that work.

I have lost ten.

Who wants a drink?

Nobody set fire to any goats today.

Real Fucking Nutter.

I know this is old news now, but if you're not familiar with this story, please have a look here for a really good breakdown of the whole damn thing. Though this particular piece is really about how twitter can be used for good as well as...oh, I don't know...keeping us all up to date on people's lunch choices... it's more complete than any of the news articles I've found.

I have a strong suspicion that some wacked-out, disjointed, incoherent creationism-related spam messages I got last year were from this guy. Sounds familiar, anyway. I remember seeing the names of some of our faculty here at Anonymous Institute of Higher Learning (hencforth: AIHL) on the 'to' list, so I'm pretty sure just about everyone here was also spammed. Of course it could have been a different nutter - there are plenty of creationist nutballs out there to go around. And while most of them are busy eating pork scratchings and shagging their cousins, SOME of them have computers and know how to use e-mail. More's the pity.

Anyway, just seemed like the same M.O. - I'm not making any allegations here. I'm just glad this noob can't annoy and threaten people anymore. He'll get the mental help he so obviously needs. Though I do think a good kicking wouldn't go amiss.

Yawn.

EAR ZIT!

Got one of those spidery hangovers I wrote about way back in 2005 - read an exploration of the hangover continuum here.**

Here's the thing - if local bars are going to insist on making lovely lovely lovely Newcastle Brown Ale the beer of the month and selling 16 ounce drafts for 3 lousy bucks - I'm friggin' drinking it. So yes, I've been bitten by the broon dog, but it's not as bad as it could be. My eyes are open, I have been able to vocalize, I have feeling in my extremities, and no one's told me I need another shower. Yet. If you're going to be hungover, this is the one to have.

Salty snacks and gallons of water will put it all right.

Leaving work early wouldn't hurt either.

Then...a magnum of Riesling and pizza delivery.

I'm a simple soul.


**(It is gratifying that when I googled 'spidery hangover' this blog was the very first entry that popped up. Really enjoyed re-reading that actually - the comments were especially entertaining. That was this blog's salad days, I guess. Funny group of commenters and webby friends there. I miss having enough to say to update as often.)