Not dead.

Friday, mid-afternoon in the office.

Where Time goes to die.

Wellllll now...it's been almost a month since my last post. How's everyone been? Is anyone still checking in? .......Anyone?

Hellooooooooo......

Been BUSY. I've never been so busy. Doing what, I'm not entirely sure - just working and going home and doing stuff there. Nothing out of the ordinary - haven't even had a transcription job in months. Miss the extra cash, but not terribly. Certainly don't miss spending lunch hours, evenings, and weekends listening to other people's mumblings and stupidity.

Christ, interacting with people is bad enough without having the human voice yaddering directly into my ear canal.

Let's look at some art. Here's William Blake's The Ghost of a Flea, 1819-1820.

Harrumph. One of our Bill's nightmare visions, it appears. What's in the basket, and what's he doing with his right hand? Looks like he's pulling a wedgie out. Needs to be careful with those nails. Read a biography of Blake a few years back. Don't remember any of it.

Happy Friday everyone. I'm 45 minutes away from a beer, and when the clock strikes 5 I'll be hell for leather to get to it. What's everybody reading? Anything good?

Me as was.

Inspired by Medbh's outing herself on her blog, with a photo of herself in the 80's.

Here I am, with my dyed black hair and (gasp) is that EYE MAKEUP? Must be. Nobody's eyelids are orange unless they missed their shots.

The year - I believe it's 1988. An apartment in the student ghetto of Allston, Massachusetts.

Look at that skin, huh?

This black hair didn't last long. The dye was messy and dyed the skin around my face and ears for about a week after each touch-up, and as my ginger grew out, the part looked just awful. My poor mother thought I was going bald when my ginger and pale scalp started showing.

I'd do it again, though. I liked that Louise Brooks haircut. My friend Kim did that with the help of some clippers and about a dozen Heinekens. I wonder where she is now. She should move back here. I need drinking buddies and a way to avoid going to Supercuts.

So. That's me. EGAD - 20 years ago.

Factory farming is bad enough...

Fuck. Now I don't even want to eat fish anymore.

Clicky, clicky.

Nothing to see here folks.

Just had one of those odd, irritating experiences with someone's odd, irritating personal communication styles.

To wit: Have you ever met someone who has the disconcerting habit of just watching you speak, and even after you've said something and stopped talking, they don't reply - but just continue looking at you? You finish a statement, expect an interaction - you're clearly done with the thought and are putting it to them to respond - and they don't, they just stare, as if the pause in the conversation is entirely for YOU to fill, even though it's their turn? What the hell are they waiting for?

Very off-putting, I must say. Couldn't wait for this bint to leave my office so I could check to see if I'd grown a moustache or something.

HANG UP AND DRIVE!

So - this is a question for those in the Boston/Watertown/Waltham area yesterday.

Was it my imagination or were there MILLIONS more cars on the road than usual for the morning and evening commutes? I noticed it - and today was back to normal, so I can't figure out what caused that. Was there an idiot convention in town? Because let me tell you, it wasn't just a lot of cars, it was a lot of cars being driven really badly.

Here's a few things I noticed:

1. About 90% of the other drivers on my commute last night were on cell phones. Narrowly avoided an accident or two and let's guess the cause, shall we? Assholes.

2. At just about every intersection, there were cars blocking passage through when the light turned green. Here's a thought, if you can see that you won't be able to get through to the other side of the intersection and you enter it anyway, blocking cross traffic when their light turns green? You need to have your license revoked. And yes, the two or three people I saw yesterday get into accidents because of this behavior absolutely deserved it. Greenough Boulevard onto Western Ave. - you know who you are. That'll teach you, shit-for-brains.

3. Everyone, please, pick a lane. You don't have to stay in it forever, just pick one, and if you need to change later on, signal. If you do it right, you'll get in the lane you want and no one will hit you, or hate you.

4. If I can hear your car stereo, it is too fucking loud. If you have a dog in the back seat while your stereo is making your car shake - you are abusing that animal and should have it taken away from you. Do you have any idea how painful it must be to an animal with ears that sensitive? If it's loud enough to make MY car shake, you are not just damaging your own ears, and forcing your shitty musical taste on those around you, you are destroying your pet's ears, causing it physical pain, and therefore, you guessed it, you are an asshole.

5. And the one guy, smoking a cigarette with a small child in the back seat. REALLY? Have you not paid attention lo, these last 30 years, to all that we have learned about not smoking around children? Serves you right if the kid pukes all over you when you get where you're going.

That is all.

As I suspected.

Created by OnePlusYou


Sniff...I've never felt so proud.

Balls.

Here is the one unchanging law in my life: the second I have any extra cash in my bank account that isn't earmarked for rent/mortgage, bills, car payments, or other living expenses - the very instant I feel like I'm doing a little better than just breaking even - my pet, whatever pet I happen to have at the time, will need expensive surgery. There's no getting around it. Extra cash for fun things, that leather jacket I've had my eye on, maybe a piece of real furniture to replace some old piece of shit I got at a garage sale in 1987, or simply put into savings for a rainy day, is evidently NOT ALLOWED.

For I just learned that The Calico - Lieutenant Vinegar Matilda 'Fraid o' Nuthin' Badass Calico of Doom - my Second in Command - needs to have a growth removed from her ear and we just got the estimate from the vet's office. $600 plus for the removal of a growth that may or may not be benign - but we won't know until they remove it. How much do you want to bet that that amount is EXACTLY the amount of our state tax refund.

I just BET.

But I have to do it. This cat is too good, too cool, too necessary to me to take a chance on this thing not being benign. Nothing for it but to do this the right way, and soon - just in case. So, on April 15 (tax day, no shit, gotta love the almost teleological synchronicity there, huh?) she goes under for the third surgery of her life. She'll do fine, of course, for she is made of nails and a motorcycle engine. And when the biopsy comes back, they'll say "oh, it was nothing, a completely benign little growth...but aren't you glad you know for sure?" And then I'll rub her little head and say "you better not have any more little issues, because if you do, it's curtains." And not really mean it.

No joke, this has happened with most of the pets I've owned since moving to the Boston area and their health and upkeep was my financial responsibility. Get a few extra bucks - oh look, the cat's limping. Finally ahead on the debt? What's that wheezing sound?

I love all of my cats very much, but once they start dying, I think I'll replace them with guinea pigs. Nobody takes guinea pigs to the vet for expensive procedures, yearly vet exams, or vaccinations. They live for a few years, then some morning you find a stiff little cavvy corpse in the cage, which you then bury in a shoe box in the back yard. No fuss, no muss. Of course, I don't really MEAN it. Of COURSE I'll get more cats. Maybe a dog.

I am hopeless.