Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Christ, the boredom

You know when you watch a new TV show that you think is the best thing since...since Salma Hayek, and it's just brilliant and funny and oh, just so gooooood, that you start talking about it to someone you KNOW will agree with you, about how great, great, great this show is and they MUST watch it and how they'll laugh with you and think you're just the bee's knees for introducing them to this wonderful, entertaining, awesome new show, and then when you FINALLY get them to sit down and watch this show with you, the network in its infinite cuntosity manages to air the ONE FUCKING EPISODE that is not as well-written, well-acted, funny, brilliant, sparkly as the others, and even you, a fan, are disappointed and you try to back pedal and say "oh, this is just not a good episode," and the other person just goes, "Meh. It's stupid."?

I fucking hate it when that happens.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Friday Ruminations

* You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat restaurant and retail workers. Everyone should work in a restaurant or in retail at least once in their life, to know how tough it is. If you treat someone badly because you're looking down your nose at what they do for a living, somehow it WILL bite you in the arse eventually.

* No matter how bad you think you have it, there is always someone out there who has it worse. Example: do not expect the world to cry for you if you're constipated because I'm willing to bet most people would take that over having the shits on public transportation. Uh-huh, m'dear, it COULD be worse.

* Sense of humor IS related to intelligence. If you do not have a sense of humor, you're probably stupid.

Here endeth the lesson.

Happy Friday, my little pigeons! And a glorious weekend it's going to be. No agenda, no chores to do, no transcription, nothing but a bunch of books, a choice of saloons to drink in, three healthy cats, and the cat-piss stench has been eradicated from the living room. Bring on the cheese. I said bring it ON!
What's everybody else doing this weekend?

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Four Brothers

True to form, it's taken me three years to see "Four Brothers," this competent little remake of "The Sons of Katie Elder." We recorded it on DVR and it was the perfect way to spend a lazy, post-football, hungover afternoon.

Not up for a full on review of the film, it's been out too long to have anything new to say about it, except to say that I usually avoid films with this kind of violence - gives rabbits nightmares, don't you know. But I enjoyed this one, and enjoyed Mark Wahlberg's performance as Bobby Mercer. He's a tremendous little tough guy, with the right amount of humor and intelligence to back up the macho bullshit and make it palatable. Must say, I didn't want to take him seriously at first, because of the underwear ads, but the kid's got good acting chops. Loved "Invincible," liked "Boogie Nights," and got a genuine rise out of this one. (HATED "The Depahhhted" though. Don't get in the comments and call me an arsehole - matters of personal taste shall not be debated.)

Okay, that said, what I really want to know is this: IS Detroit the toilet it appears to be? If so, Jaysis! I think the state of Michigan needs to dynamite it and start over. And I thought Des Moines was a shit hole...Yikes!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Joan Rivers Plastic Surgery Horror!

Damn, I'm tired. You tired? I'm TIRED.
Wake up. Time to drink. But leave that formaldehyde alone.
Happy Friday, chums.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008


Today I shall take the T to North Station, with a vial of cat piss in my jacket pocket.

Delicate business.

I shall need a lot of space. If anyone jostles me, and this vial breaks or spills, someone's gonna have to die.

Make way, MAKE WAY!!!

Saturday, January 05, 2008



Vet just left - we're doing ONE MORE TEST, but remember that blinding, road to Damascus, angels sang, Mother Nature reaching her hand in and intervening, miracle we were talking about? That didn't QUITE happen, but our regular, traveling vet came and looked at the test results from the emergency clinic, asked some questions, did an exam, and the upshot: Luna has put on weight, is no longer quite so dehydrated, is breathing better, and might not...MIGHT NOT...need to go to the great litter box in the sky.

So, though she lives in the basement apartment by herself (don't worry, it's a nice apartment, not a damp, concrete basement - and she gets plenty of company as that's where the big flatscreen TV, the beer fridge, and exercise room is, and hence where SPOUSE does most of his sports viewing and I do all of my working out and big movie viewing) with her own litter box, food, bedding, and freedom from the other cats. And as long as she has some kind of quality of life down there, and this last test result is negative (FIV/Leukemia/cancer) she'll spend the rest of her life in isolated, sports-viewing, fleece blanket bliss.

She's not out of the woods. She's off the appetite stimulant, off the antiobiotics, and if she tests positive for any disease at all, or if she suddenly takes another downward turn and her life sucks again, the vet comes back with the death needle and canvas bag.

But still. She'll be around with her button face and big mitts for at least another week or two. But she'll never be upstairs for the rest of her life, because even if I get this piss stench out of my couch, she'll never have an opportunity to do THAT again.

I have to draw some lines somewhere. I'll spoil my cats rotten, but I will NOT sit in cat piss on my own couch.


Thursday, January 03, 2008

Not dead, just dormant

Hi Kids, hope your holidays were grand.

I'd like to thank everyone for their lovely New Year's wishes, and send a big, happy new year out to all of you. I sincerely hope this year brings nothing but good things, good health, good times, lots of happiness in 2008 (and beyond!) to all my friends on this here interwebby thingy.

However, I'm not QUITE back yet. I've got my hands full with my return to work, both kinds, salaried and freelance, and I'm nursing a very, very sick cat in her last days on this planet. Come Saturday, she will be a lovely memory. So I'm sad.

But I don't want to bring anyone down. I say it all the time, it's a fact of life that we outlive our pets, and when their time comes, the best we can do for them is give them a dignified end. But best not dwell on it, as I said, it's a fact of life and I've been through this before and will go through it again. The truth is, once the decision is made, I console myself with the fact that I've done the right thing, ended the suffering and pain, etc., etc. Cry, cry. Okay, onward.

And then I'll get a new one. There are far, far, too many great, healthy, wonderful animals that get put down each year just because no one wants them. So - who's got kittens?