Did I ask?
It really gets on my tits in a big way when people offer me advice I didn't ask for. Nothing stops my ears from listening faster than a sentence that starts "You should..." or "Why don't you..."
I never hear the end of those sentences. What I hear in my head is SCREAMING, SCREAMING, SCREAMING, SCREAMING, as though hell itself has burst its seams, and millions of accursed souls have erupted forth, to swirl around and plague my psyche with their tormented shrieking.
And do you know what's even worse? When people offer advice that it is absolutely fucking impossible for me to follow. Someone actually said to me recently, "You should just buy a house...."
Sure, I have a few hundred grand just lying around, waiting for me to figure out what I should do with it. Thanks, that was so clear and obvious, why didn't I think of that for myself. ...Tch...obvious, really. What a twat I am, huh?
YOU buy me a fucking house if it's so easy. If I want your facile, mouseketeer advice I'll ask for it. And I won't. So fuck off.
posted by Andraste at 1:43 PM
12 Comments:
What Rachy said.
If I buy you a domicile, may I "get on your teats in a big way"?
rachy,
Do you actually eat with that same mouth?
Muff, why don't you get a blog so we can ask YOU these impertinent questions?
You should just buy a space station instead. I got very reasonable re-financing rates from a bank on Mars. My mortgage is only 3,0056 Gronkian Zubars per calendar light month!
There's that "you should" thing again.
Now, what's in that vial, and how much did you take?
I usually hate Internet lingo, but Muff Diver made me LOL!
Ms. Andraste,
I am not able to generate my own blog.
The computer I use is a company computer. They frown upon such things!
rachy,
My brother would answer the "same mouth" question with: " No, I shove it up my ass"! I suspect you might need a spatula if Vegemite is on the menu.
But presumably they don't mind that you're surfing blogs and commenting on them? Hie thee to a library or computer store, Muff. I'd read and link to you.
Thank you, Andraste.
I share this computer with several co-workers. I do not even "bookmark" sites/blogs. I type the entire address each time I visit a site and then erase the history when I am done. We all do this!
I am sure the computer nerds in the next office could trace all the visits, but they know better than to come into my space!
One day I will purchase a computer thingy for my abode, but, I am still putting the plumbing in!
Amen! I hate those advisory types, too. I have a friend like that; she is constantly monitoring my home, saying shit like, "I can't believe you bought this wine from PC Market when Trader Joes is so much cheaper. You should really pay more attention to your money!" To which I respond with, of course, nothing more than a withering glare.
In other news, the word to verify today sounds a bit obscene: vqqug. Eww...
Vague, Thanks for stopping by!
vqqug...My, my, that DOES sound dirty. The more I look at it though, I think it reminds me of the sound I make when vomiting. And the word verification I'm about to type for this comment, heggu, is kinda what my cat sounds like when she vomits.
It's one of those days.
Make that "she" in that last sentence of my last comment italic, and it reads much better.
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