Wednesday, March 08, 2006

T- MINUS SIX DAYS AND COUNTING


In the news today: A Cape Cod town is considering a ban on perfume and cologne in one of its schools. YES! Great idea! Let's expand this to include the workplace, public transportation, EVERYWHERE!

Too much? A little over the top to ban fragrance EVERYWHERE? Okay.

Can we at least ban that fucking awful patchouli shite? Honest to Salma, a woman came into my office yesterday wearing so much fucking hippie effluvium, I was left gasping for air. After she left, the miasma stayed behind and I had to LEAVE MY OWN OFFICE for a few minutes while it dissipated. Even then, I felt like it was still stuck to the insides of my nostrils when I was going home.


Must people ADVERTISE that they are dirty, smelly hippies? Must people impose this awful fucking stench on others? I thought I was gonna DIE.

How about soap? That'd work a whole lot better, you miserable, smelly old hippie slag.



*Watch, I'll keep doing this stupid Pogues show countdown, and then get sick the day before. Just like me to tempt fate like that.

I wouldn't miss the show, though. I'd have to be in a coma to miss this, and even then, I'd figure out a way to signal that yes, I'll need to be wheeled into the Orpheum and yes, I'll need handicap access and seating. And I may STILL be more aware of my surroundings than Shane.

7 Comments:

Blogger Chris Cope said...

If you slip into a coma, Shane may add you to the band. You're on cowbell.

08 March, 2006 12:04  
Blogger Tree said...

Ok I have to say that the town where I grew up placed a ban on all fragrances in all gov't buildings, schools etc. Infact a bus driver actually kicked a woman off the bus because of her perfume ... I hate strong perfume and cologne, in fact it actually, physically hurts my nose, but living like that is a bit ridiculous. You can't even wash your hair with a fruity shampoo with out some jack ass next to you complaining about it. It's like people's sense of smell becomes heightened to the max ... and you know what ... without scented laundry detergent, soap and shampoo people just don't smell all that good.

08 March, 2006 12:46  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's try shutting down the water works, and restricting the availability of soap and hot water. I'll demur to toothpaste though...after a few weeks of smelling peoples real odors, perhaps we'd have a different perspective. I choose to remain safely anonymous...GLARK!!!

08 March, 2006 14:20  
Blogger Binty McShae said...

Jeez, of all days for you to post about that...

I left my regular aftershave at a friends by accident so this morning I was forced to slap on one of those free sample ones you get attached to leaflets through the door... I was in a rush so just threw it on (only a modicum - I don't like to overdo it) and dashed out.

Suffice to say all day long I have been feeling vomitous, and other people have been avoiding me like the plague. I cannot remember the name (I'll check it out and return) but a word of advice... always check a fragrance before usage.

uuuuuugggghhhhhh......

09 March, 2006 01:14  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Jesus Andraste, I don't like to much perfume either- actually that is a bare faced lie, I'm always smothered in Dior- but banning it? The man who works in my local Spar shop reeks to the high heavens of BO, my perfume is the ony thing in the world protecting my nostrils from his stench.

09 March, 2006 07:50  
Blogger Brewski said...

Raise one for me when you're at the 'show/total piss-up' there A-girl.

09 March, 2006 08:57  
Blogger Yeah, him. said...

I once worked for a guy who complained about the type of perfume that a female coworker wore. He also managed to complain about women using un-natural colors to do up their hair (blonde highlights for a brunette - for example).

He was kind of a dick.
Your article just reminded me of a certain attitude and who it comes out on, but amazingly yes, there are idiots like this in the world.

09 March, 2006 19:00  

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