Thursday, September 14, 2006

No, Subway is NOT a health food restaurant, you fat cow.

Okay, so it took me forever to finally see "Supersize Me." I admit, I don't often go to the movies, and this is something I would not have paid to see on the big screen anyway, however interesting and funny and informative the film is... $9 is only to be spent for things that need big screen viewing, like your big special effects features.

So this particular rant is a bit late, but it's all I've got today.

Anyway, so I'm on my elliptical machine, doing a 45 minute work out, feeling all superior and self-righteous about doing my workout while watching a documentary about America's obesity and obsession with food-that-isn't-really-food.

And I wanted to jump into the film and strangle that big 14 year old morbidly obese girl who actually said, after meeting that squid Jared, the guy who lost a bunch of weight and is now a spokesman for Subway Restaurants, "Well, it's okay for him, but I can't afford to eat at Subway every day..."

Here's a thought: STEAM SOME FUCKING BROCCOLI, you stupid bint. Subway IS NOT a substitute for what you're currently mashing into your oversized maw when you eat at home. It's another fucking unhealthy, processed crap fast food restaurant. SLIGHTLY healthier than McDonald's, but not as healthy as buying and cooking your own real, green, healthy FRESH food, so you know exactly what the calorie/fat/cholesterol count is. And it is NOT a substitute for the lifestyle changes that are so obviously necessary. It IS a substitute for your trips to McDonald's, which IF YOU MUST EAT FAST FOOD AT ALL, should only be about once a month anyway, but I suspect is your main source of 'food,' more often than not. And that goes for your stupid, fat mother as well.

I'm so sick of excuses. "Oh, it runs in the family..." or "Oh, I have a glandular problem..."

I'm calling bullshit right here. Here's what runs in your family...NOBODY, clearly. Try some exercises, Bertha. Doesn't have to be running, I can't even RUN for chrissakes, it's bad for the joints and boobs, but that's not the point. WALKING is a start, just move that hot air balloon you call your ass.

Glandular problem? See a doctor who'll tell you you don't have a glandular problem or find a way to fix it. Then, see...oh, I don't know...maybe the inside of a damn gym sometime.

Jesus Christ!

The first step towards healthy weight loss? Stop making excuses.

Second step: NO EXCUSES.


Fourth step: Move your ass.



Blogger fatmammycat said...

I'm clapping! I've been saying this kind of stuff for years and you're absolutely right. Eat less exercise more, not exactly rocket science. Google Bigfatblog if you want to see some realy excuse merchants.

14 September, 2006 19:09  
Blogger Old Knudsen said...

I like it when they say they are big boned, what, you've got 40 lbs of bone in your arse?

15 September, 2006 01:54  
Blogger monty said...

I love the "gland problem" excuse. Yeah,you've got fat glands, fat greedy glands.

And all these chronically obese people that insist diet has nothing to do with their weight problem.... how come you never hear of a fat person found after drifting in the Atlantic for 6 weeks in a dinghy?

15 September, 2006 04:34  
Blogger Andraste said...

Cat - that bigfatblog thing made me angry enough to kill puppies. Fucking idiots.

Knudson - welcome! And yeah, that's another one of my favorites. Big bones? You should donate your body to science then, because you'd be the first fat skeleton in history.

Monty - welcome to you too! No, just one skinny bastard and the bones of the pals he ate while waiting for rescue... "Atkins for Cannibals, on your bookstore shelves this October!"

15 September, 2006 10:37  

<< Home