NUTS!!

Lo, though I have torn off my thumbnail trying to open a pistachio nut, I shall endeavor to keep the whining to a minimum. You can thank me by making a small donation to the charity of your choice, unless it's that one that buys a goat for a little boy in some small village in the middle of fuck-knows. I do not condone the purchase of live animals for people who will only eat the poor things.

"NO, boy! You're supposed to MILK IT, not EAT IT!! Never mind, give me the goat back, and stay away from them chickens unless you're only going after the eggs. I don't care if you're starving now. Immediate gratification is the privilege of rich, western countries. You'll just have to wait."


NOTE: This is not my thumb. Mine's much worse. No, really.