Monday, August 07, 2006

Always better on holiday II

I am home.

Some people tan, some people freckle, some people BURST INTO FLAME. That'd be me, that last one. Because if I had done anything less than SPF 30, I would be toast. TOAST, I tell you.

I escaped from my one day at the beach, having gone from a pale-blue shade of "oh my God, what are you doing out of the morgue," to a soft, lightly freckled shade of "oh, so you DO respirate after all," sort of off-white, or ecru. I drank a lot, ate some interesting things, burned through Saul Bellow's Herzog (great novel, by the way. Surprising word-choice, very clever, funny, and sad. I recommend it!), slept like a rock, and learned the difference between sunscreen and sunblock. And made my sun-protection purchase accordingly.

But I should mention to anyone who is planning a vacation in the New England area anytime soon: The beaches at Newport...well, they kinda suck.

* You pay for parking

* They smell

* Seaweed. Not just a few bits, but it colored the water RED, and was really, really disgusting to swim in.

* They don't allow alcohol (okay, we got around this one by being subtle with it, and our clever use of 'cozies' but still)

* They close the beach before sunset, and kick everyone off. What? I can't watch the sun set on the beach? Bastards.

This business of not allowing people to have a few beers on the beach, policing of people's behaviors, and protecting them from themselves has got to stop.

"Why...when I were a lass, we 'ad bonfires, and walked the beach at all hours of the day and night. Weren't no authoritarian bastards tellin' us naw..."

All in all, though, it were nice.


Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Welcome back. Beaches are ideal for sunsets or sunrises (depending on which coast you're on). I'll strike New England off my list of places to visit.

08 August, 2006 07:26  
Blogger Andraste said...

Thanks Kim. But you shouldn't write off all of New England because one state has bad beaches.

New England is GREAT! It's just Rhode Island that has sucky beaches. Maine, New Hampshire...great places. Beautiful beaches, friendly people, great pubs, restaurants, inexpensive hotels, plenty of things to (Had to put that in there.)

I don't have much experience with the beaches of Massachusetts and Connecticut, so I'm sure it's a mix.

08 August, 2006 09:02  
Blogger Amy said...

Hey now. You are assailing my home state. Not all the beaches are sucky. I can't speak to Newport's beaches, but Narragansett Town Beach is lovely. Not much seaweed, not too rocky, decent surf, clear water, nice sand and okay facilities. Roger Wheeler beach in Narragansett is good for little kids since there's very little surf. Charlestown has some nice beaches. Westerly has a Jersey-shore boardwalky feel. Little Compton also has good beaches.

That's lame they kicked you off the beach at sunset. I think only certain beaches allow fires on the beach, and you need to get a permit. But isn't it like that in Massachusetts too?

08 August, 2006 11:48  
Blogger Andraste said...

Hey Amy, didn't mean to diss RI, because I love Newport...actually have nothing but good feelings for RI in general. Providence and Pawtucket (for the PawSox) are great. (I especially like how easy it is to get in and out of Providence, and Federal Hill is amazing. Clams Zuppa, baby!)

I know next to nothing about Mass beaches, because the Cape is so tough to get to...too much traffice and one goddamn bridge! Being a Maine native, whenever I get the urge to hit the beach, which is rare, I head north.

But thanks for the info on all these other beaches. RI is so close by, it's a shame I don't take advantage of it more.

08 August, 2006 13:07  
Blogger Amy said...

I know. Had you ragged on the Blue Bug, clamcakes, or Narragansett Beer, we may have had to fight with knives.


08 August, 2006 13:40  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Glad you had a great time dear heart, shame about the nanny state crap. What the hell is the point in being on the beach without booze? I told Twenty about it and he went quite pale.

08 August, 2006 16:41  

<< Home