Friday, February 03, 2006

Drink UP!


Why...yes, as a matter of fact, I WILL need roughly the amount of a small keg of booze this afternoon. It's been a very, very stressful week. And due to several readers referencing Stella in the comments of earlier posts, I've got Stella on the brain. Looks like that'll have to be the rocktail du jour.

Ever have one of those weeks where a whole bunch of little tiny annoyances add up to ONE MAJOR PERSECUTION COMPLEX? Like the whole world's 'ginst ya? Hey, I'm not whining, I'll get over it, but JESUS CHRIST ON A MOTORBIKE AND MARY IN A SIDECAR it's been a shitty one.

Without going into too much agonizing detail, UPS sucks. You know what brown can do for me? I'll fucking tell you. Deliver the goddamn package, you assclowns. That's pretty much all I ask. And yet...this package I was supposed to get Tuesday? NOT FUCKING HERE. What can brown do for you, indeed. Brown can have a complaint system that does not require me to know the street address of the shipping facility, and the name, birthdate, and blood type of the warehouse worker who packed and shipped my stuff. Brown can tell me something useful in the tracking system, other than that there's nothing they can do for me. Brown can fuck off and die of their own stinking, mind-boggling incompetence, the cretinous fucking morons.

Wow. Suddenly I'm overcome with a feeling of peace. THAT was cathartic.

Superbowl? Who cares? I smell baseball on the wind. Spring training. Pitchers and catchers reporting soon. BRING IT.

Happy weekend. I'm off to get pished.

12 Comments:

Blogger Father of 3 said...

Baseball... Bring it is right!! Have a drink for me tonight.

03 February, 2006 12:33  
Blogger Andraste said...

Fof3 - Just one?

03 February, 2006 12:59  
Anonymous vague said...

Yes, screw football, bring on the Baseball! (I am a sport monogamist.)

Happy Friday!

03 February, 2006 13:11  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

That thing in the picture, is that something you can buy over there? What is it?

03 February, 2006 13:40  
Blogger Andraste said...

Looks like some newfangled kind of keg.
Can you rent kegs in the UK?

03 February, 2006 14:17  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

MY God I"ve had four pints, and it is still early! Be fucking careful-stella is called 'wife beater in the UK!

03 February, 2006 15:39  
Blogger Andraste said...

*hic*

03 February, 2006 16:23  
Blogger Monstee said...

The picture am for the "PerfectDraft" beer dispensing system. Me think it am only sold in Belgium, Germany & The Netherlands. It am for tapping really small kegs that hold like about 6L of beer. Or about 3 glasses for me.

Me am tossing back shot of Jager for you and spring training Andraste!

Oh, and me found Jaffa Cakes. Me talk all about in FMC's comments.

04 February, 2006 00:48  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

That looks more like 5 gallon to me. 40 pints imperial, 50 US. Me lika!

04 February, 2006 16:25  
Blogger LindyK said...

Aah, who wouldn't?! I'm planning on getting good and drinky today. Football can kiss my arse, but the commercials are usually worth the stuff in between.

On the post, UPS is such a bastard about lost packages -- I've had that experience too... you can give them all the info: tracking number, weight, when it was picked up and by whom, and they still have the nerve to say, "We have no idea where it is, but it's not really our fault, see..." The joys of logistics...

05 February, 2006 13:00  
Blogger Foot Eater said...

Stella Artois is fucking piss. It's got a fancy Belgian name so people think it's classy, but it's cheap rotgut. As FMC said, it's known as Wife Beater over here for a very good reason. It tastes like piss, or shit, and it's not worth it. Any hard drinker worth his or her salt wouldn't touch it with a bargepole.

05 February, 2006 13:41  
Blogger Andraste said...

FE - awww shaddaaaaap! Beer is beer, and there's a flavor for every mood. AS it happens my Friday started out with a Guinness, then moved onto pitchers of cheap lager, rounding things out with a nightcap of Cider Jack. It's all good.

In fact, my Superbowl Sunday started out with Boddington's (which I call "vanilla Guinness") and has once again come round to cider, just as a palate cleanser.

Fucking Pittsburgh. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck...burp.

G'night everybody!

05 February, 2006 21:31  

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