Thursday, February 02, 2006

Sit the fuck down, already.


LADIES - IF YOU ARE SO STUPID AS TO BE FUCKING AFRAID OF GETTING AN STD FROM A PUBLIC TOILET SEAT, THAT YOU MUST HOVER ABOVE IT ENOUGH TO SPLASH YOUR URINE ALL OVER THE SEAT, HAVE A FUCKING HEART AND WIPE THE CUNTING THING OFF BEFORE YOU LEAVE THE RESTROOM, SO THAT THE NEXT USER DOES NOT END UP WITH AN ARSE COVERED IN YOUR PISS, YOU STUPID, INCONSIDERATE, PARANOID FUCKING COW.

One of these days, some wee germy is going to get you, because your immune system has been so weakened by you not touching anything without an antibacterial wipe nearby, and you will be wiped out of the population. We call it natural selection round our way.



Honestly.

11 Comments:

Blogger Anna said...

Amen!

02 February, 2006 14:50  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Ahah! The things you learn on the net.

02 February, 2006 16:15  
Anonymous stephenesque said...

Piss-stain ring-around the-bum again? Nasty. Where I come from we call that "gettin' an Augie March."

02 February, 2006 16:19  
Blogger mrshife said...

Having a good day are we?
Those fucking cows suck.

02 February, 2006 19:29  
Blogger Binty McShae said...

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou Andraste!!!

I used to live in a house with a couple of girls and I always got blamed for pissing on the loo seat, even though I am nowhere near mentally challenged enough to omit lifting it. I sussed out it must be this paranoid-about-cleanliness friend of theirs that regularly visited, as it always happened when she was around but I always got the shocked "women don't pee on seats!"

Knew that was bullshit - women are equally capable of scuzziness!

02 February, 2006 20:11  
Blogger LBseahag said...

I peed my pants instead while reading this.

02 February, 2006 20:49  
Blogger Andraste said...

Binty - it's ironic, isn't it. In order to AVOID scuzziness, they CREATE IT. I reiterate, ladies, SIT THE FUCK DOWN, and if you can't do that, WIPE IT THE FUCK OFF.

02 February, 2006 22:25  
Blogger LindyK said...

A-fucking-men, Andraste!! Didn't science prove that you can't actually catch anything from sitting on a seat?! Jesus, if women were as selective about the men they sleep with as the seats they'll deign to sit on, maybe they wouldn't have gonoherpocephalitis in the first place... nice post, Andraste!

03 February, 2006 01:07  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

See, it's all a load of crap. I know friends of mine who hover at the beginning of the night, but then after many pints of Stella are virtually in the fucking toilet by the ten to eleven. What? Do they think their immune systems get stonger the drunker they become. Bleedin' twats, the lot of them.

03 February, 2006 06:52  
Blogger The Mayor said...

most every public restroom has ass gaskets, and if they don't, the bitches could strategically lay down t.p. on the seat, rather than piss all over it, eh?

03 February, 2006 10:25  
Blogger tgic said...

Preaching to the choir, honey. I've been complaining about this for as long as I can remember, but it really started getting to me when I started going out to bars. Aren't you embarrassed when you walk out and see the person who is going to be dealing with your filthy piss? Fucking stupid twat.

06 February, 2006 12:11  

<< Home