Friday, October 27, 2006

Local movie theaters SUCK

Can anyone explain to me why the Kendall Square Theater and the Newton Cinema are only showing "Driving Lessons" ONCE a day, at 1:50PM? How the fuck is anybody who works supposed to get to that? I would think subtly-humored English 'coming of age' movies may have some appeal in this market. Especially one starring my little boyfriend Rupert Grint. Lots of teeny-bopper girls around here, who might want to see Ron Weasley get laid. And more ...ahem...mature audiences, which might include me, might actually want to see a film that doesn't have shit blowing up, or people killing each other, or that might have an actual script and show some character development. I don't have time to see it this weekend (again, ONE SHOWING A DAY ON SATURDAY AND SUNDAY? Faaaaahhhhk.) so it'll have to wait till next weeknd, and it's such a tiny release, it'll probably be gone and I'll have missed it.

Or if you're only going to have one showing a day, why not make it, oh I dunno, NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DAY? How about 5 or 6pm, so working people, or teeny bopper girls who have school, at least have a chance without playing hookey? You can send all explanations of "market" and "demographics" promptly to the crack of my ass. Kthnx.

I've been whinging about movie times for years anyway. They're either 6pm, which doesn't allow anyone to get a drink or a bite to eat beforehand, or at 10 or after, which is stupid and impractical on a work night. This is one of the many reasons I only manage to get to a movie theater about once a year, or even less.

Speaking of movies, here is a list of movies that I see people include in their favorites list all the time, but which, frankly, I think sucked:

1. The Princess Bride. (BORING. Not funny, except for Peter Cook's scene, but that's not going to be enough for me, sadly.)

2. All the Bill & Ted catastrophes. (Were they written by special ed middle schoolers? Not funny, not clever, not even remotely entertaining, even after several beers and/or bong hits. Keanu Reeves cannot act, and I don't even know who the other guy was, but he's ugly.)

3. Dirty Dancing ("No one puts baby in a corner." Give me a fucking break.)

4. Ferris Bueller's Day Off. (There is NO WAY POSSIBLE that that kid could do all that in the span of one school day. Not good anyway, even with suspension of disbelief.)

5. Eraserhead. (Cure for insomnia, if I ever saw one. Honestly, I have tried to watch this film about 6 or 7 times, and each time I was asleep 15 minutes in.)

Anyway, it'stime for my mid-day graze.

Have a fantastic weekend, everybody. I have some theater managers to glass.


Anonymous Carmen said...

That time does suck. Even children are in school at that time. I'm not sure who they're expecting to see it at that time during the week. Anyway, hopefully you still get to see the movie and others who want to as well. :/

27 October, 2006 22:48  
Blogger Old Knudsen said...

The Sound of music, I keep rooting for the nazis to get em.

29 October, 2006 16:41  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Princess Bride was a class film - it had Fred Savage in it! Inigo Montoya was what made it worth watching though. Revenge never looked so satisfying.

30 October, 2006 08:18  

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