Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Stupid Banana Survey

I signed up to do some of these on-line surveys about various stuff. Mostly it's new products or improvements on existing products. Kind of like a focus group type thing, only it's something I can do at work, with no one knowing that I'm not exactly doing "work."

Anyway, you get a certain amount of points for each survey completed, which can be redeemed for various products or money, or you can donate them to charity. Hell, it's no trouble to tell someone that I do X number of loads of laundry per week, and what cleaning products I use, how often I do groceries, etc.

Hey, looking busy at work is a very important adult skill.

But I just spent 20 minutes doing an on-line survey about this new product, plastic packaging that claims to keep bananas fresh for a WHOLE WEEK. Even after I said, in the first dialogue box that opened, that I thought it was a STUPID ASS IDEA, as bananas are perfectly FINE for a week or so anyway, and when they get old you make banana bread, dumbass, and that products like this only increase plastic packaging with a half life going into landfills, and are so completely useless that I think the inventor needs to be taken out and shot - or at least given something productive to do with his time, like, maybe bash his head against the wall at the factory or something - the survey continued with a million questions about how important it is that my bananas are fresh longer, and are perfect EVERY TIME.

Listen, a banana is a fucking banana. It's perfectly fine to have a bruise or two, and when I run out, or toss a few because they're brown and shriveled, it's no big deal. I don't run to the supermarket the second I run out of ripe bananas. I don't think, "FUCK, we are OUT of perfect, ripe, tasty bananas! HOW IN GOD'S NAME DID THIS HAPPEN !!!!????"

20 Goddamn minutes clicking the radio buttons under, "not important at all" for every one of the 200 questions about my thoughts on having the perfect banana at hand, at all times. That's 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

And you know what? I wasn't done. I just exited about two thirds of the way through because, even though I'm 65 points away from having them send me a check for a hundred bucks, and that was the EXACT amount of points I would have gotten for completing the survey, I couldn't frigging STAND it any longer.

It was even worse than the laundry survey, where they showed me pictures of random women, and I was asked to fill in the blanks on how they felt about doing their laundry.

"Pleased that she'd done her best for her family." "Happy to be done so she can go do other things." "Proud that she'd chosen X detergent and fabric softeners, and pleased that her family's clothes now show her family in their best light."

You think I'm kidding? Jesus Christ. I assure you, I am not.

And now, since I just bored YOU to tears as I have been with this useless, stupid, bullshit, I just stumbled on this. I love old Mart, don't you?


Blogger fatmammycat said...

Dear lord girlie, perhaps you might need this week off instead of me. Stop doing those wretched things, step away from the questions and pour yourself a cool frothy beer.

23 January, 2007 15:39  
Blogger MikeP said...

The good thing is that you found a specific grudge to write about this time. I couldn't really grasp what you were venting about before. I guess I like your focused rants better.

23 January, 2007 17:40  
Blogger Sassy Sundry said...

I hate those stupid plastic banana bags. I don't buy bananas when they are in those things.

You do find the most amazing things on You Tube. I usually just watch the Kitty Cat Dance.

23 January, 2007 18:54  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

A lot of what I learned about how men think comes from Martin Amis. He's the most masculine writer I can think of, apart from maybe Norman Mailer, but at least 10 times sexier than Norman Mailer ever was.

How'd you sign up for these survey whatsits? My laundry habits are an open book for anyone who cares and if someone wants to give me money for that, all the better.

23 January, 2007 23:57  
Blogger Kieran said...

All you have achieved there is to make me want a banana. Which is actually quite healthy for me, so thank you.

24 January, 2007 05:48  
Blogger Andraste said...

Sam - here's a link to their 'about us' page. There's also links there to register, etc. http://fun.mysurvey.com/aboutus.cfm

24 January, 2007 10:43  

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