Thursday, August 21, 2008

Out of the pool. OUT!

It starts innocently enough. A few minor, light-hearted insults over e-mail, an issue or two discussed, worked out (so you think) and the occasional light-hearted reprimand for some imagined slight. Not fun, not comfortable, but you put it behind you, give the other party the benefit of the doubt, call it hormones, life changes, a bad mood, bad meds, bad day, what have you.

Then it begins to build steam. Suddenly, gifts you give are criticized, and the issues and imagined slights get bigger. The insults become more unfair and hurtful. You're to blame for this person's sense of loneliness and isolation even though they're the ones who moved 50 miles away and resent you because you don't shift your whole life out to them. Also, every bad thing in the world is only happening to them, and no one else could POSSIBLY have it as bad as they do - even though they literally have everything they ever said they wanted in the first place. And you realize you can do absolutely nothing right in this person's eyes. Just being you is wrong.

But you keep trying to be cheerful, never let on that this person's behavior and attitude is starting to really smell - and you HOPE against HOPE they're not building up to some kind of showdown or battle. But you know they are, and you can't stop it. And though it gets harder and harder, you keep your communications light, and as supportive as you possibly can. You make jokes, you try your best to get them to see the other side of things - try to get them to have fun, try to get them to appreciate all that they have, and that whatever problems or issues they're going through are temporary, and even though life seems to be crap right now, there are people in the world who have it a SHITLOAD worse, and for a lot longer.

And then what once was a great, warm, supportive, fun friendship is down the toilet because in a moment of insanity YOU TRIED TO MAKE THEM LAUGH by making a joke about a subject that THEY THEMSELVES brought up. I mean to say...How DARE you? Tch. Such audacity! How CAN you be so insensitive as to make a joke, the same kind of joke this person has been laughing at with you for YEARS? You horrible, mean, crass, insensitive cow!

Whew! Had to get that off my chest. I'm all done. This topic will never come up again. Ever.

Fuck, catharsis, what?


Blogger fatmammycat said...

oh, oh, I KNOW that one, I met it in a garage fore court a while back. Fuckers.

21 August, 2008 11:17  
Blogger Andraste said...

Awful, innit? Nothing you can do but watch the carnage.

it's when you realize you've been giving someone the benefit of the doubt and the one time you could use the benefit of the doubt yourself, no dice.

Fuck 'em.

21 August, 2008 11:34  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Indeed, they're not fucking worth the time or energy.

21 August, 2008 11:48  
Blogger Andraste said...

Or even the energy to be upset, but knowing that doesn't help. Hence the catharsis of the post!

21 August, 2008 11:56  

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