Friday, February 13, 2009

Damn this work ethic

Ever have one of those weeks where everything you touch goes tits up? The world seems agin' you, every e-mail you open at work is some fire to put out, some emergency, some stupid question from a student* that you answer eleventy million times a day, and the answer to which is in documents and guides that are available in 20 different places on the web site, and is available to ANYONE who cares to look it up? Everyone is dying to meet with you to give you more work to do, while taking you away from the work that you're supposed to be doing in the first fucking place? Meetings. Fuck 'em.

And, once again, I'm taking on projects that aren't even my job. But since I hate people who whine "that's not my job," and I have a personality that won't allow me NOT to do something that needs doing, just because it's 'not my job,' I can't simply refuse. Sometimes I wish I could be like Bartleby the Scrivener, and just reply "I would prefer not to."

But I'd like to know a couple of things: When did I become a fucking secretary? How did this happen, and did I, in some moment of sickening 'helpfulness' agree to it? How does one get rid of one's pesky work ethic? Is there a surgical solution? Therapy?

Banged in sick on Wednesday - and even though I truly wasn't feeling well, I felt guilty. Guilty about banging in sick for the first time since spring 2008. Guilty enough to shuffle around the house ACTING as though I felt worse than I did. You know the "Ahhhhmmm siiiiick" shuffle and whine, where your shoulders hunch, you drag your feet, with that self-pitying expression on your mug - like you're pretending to have plague when you only have a little stomach upset and sniffle. Come on, we all do it. I hate that person you become when you're a little sick, but play it up for effect - to no one.

And even then, I worked on a couple of projects from home. Yes, home sick - on e-mail, trying to accomplish something work-related. Honestly, that's drifting into the arena of the unwell...

I know, I know - I'm grateful to have a job, and a safe one, at this particular time, and in an economy where people are being laid off all around me, and the news gets worse every day. I KNOW! Bear with me, I'm just in need of a good anger-enema. This shall pass. (Bahhhhh - it shall pass. Get it?)

And something did cheer me up on the way home last night - oddly enough. It was the sight of the dead black branches of the trees, against the steel blue backdrop of the winter twilight, and the satellite radio, playing Motorhead's "Eat the Rich." I smiled a little, I must admit.

But then I came in this morning to a co-worker in one of her 'harping-on-one-tiny-detail-that-isn't-really-important-or-relevant-to-the-subject-at-hand' moods. Sure, let's belabor a point that we went over and fixed MONTHS ago, just because some student* is reading an outdated document and I've sent the student* the revised document anyway. Just fucking STOP before I go all esplody and flappy and shouty. Okay?

*Honestly, soon the word 'student' will become a general term of abuse. "Don't be a moron. What are you, a fucking STUDENT?"


Blogger Medbh said...

It's so difficult not to let the crazy student vibe rub off on you, Andraste. Keep watching the baby pigs and the annoying folks will go away.

16 February, 2009 12:34  
Blogger Sassy Sundry said...

Oh no! Did I contribute to the "illness"? Sorry!

WHat a shitty week. I hope this week is a better one.

16 February, 2009 20:21  
Blogger Andraste said...

Thanks, Medbh. Normally I really don't have such negative feelings toward the students - just get a little frustrated having to explain things EVERY DAY that are in manuals and handbooks and are otherwise also common knowledge. You know?

Sassy - no, you definitely did not contribute. I knew on Monday I was 'heading for one of those weeks' and if Charlie's was a contributor, it was the least of MANY.

16 February, 2009 21:36  

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