Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Coolest animals EVER.

Fucking hell, I love bats!!! They fucking rule.

Some types of bats eat their weight in mosquitoes every night. If there's anything I hate, it's blood-sucking fucking mosquitoes. This is the perfect illustration of the old adage, "the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Mosquitoes are the worst things in the world. I'm one of those unfortunate souls who gets eaten alive at dusk in the summer months, while others are untouched. Fuckity fuck. Why don't you leave me alone, you little disease-ridden bastards? I shall have to sic a bat on your ass.

I think people who own exotic pets are cunts, generally. But I wouldn't say no if somebody offered me one of these bats they call flying foxes. Look at this cute little fucker:

Some day, when I have a house, I will put a couple of bat houses up. I hope they attract a few colonies of whatever bug-eating bats are indigenous to the region. Then those little bastard mosquitoes will KNOW they are not welcome in the vicinity of me.


Blogger Chris Cope said...

Ooh, if you're really lucky the bats will live in your attic -- dumping toxic guano all over the place.

06 December, 2005 13:10  
Blogger Andraste said...

Bat guano is a great fertilizer. They collect it and charge top dollar for it for gardeners. Even bat shit is good shit.

06 December, 2005 13:45  
Blogger mrshife said...

Not only do they kill mosquitoes but they have great shit. Awesome.

06 December, 2005 14:46  
Anonymous stephenesque said...

Absolutely PISSED OFF that you did not use my photo of the dead bat! Very insulted.

06 December, 2005 17:26  
Blogger Andraste said...

I was just on about how awesome they are, did you really think I wanted to use a photo of one that'd popped its clogs?

Fucking hell, Stephen, how morbid do you think I am??

You horrid little man.

06 December, 2005 17:50  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Be advised: though cute they are, in their own little way, the bat guano issue and the fact that they are a vector for rabies should make you keep them at a safe distance. It is cool that they munch skeeters...doesn't seem to make a dent in the skeeter #s though...

06 December, 2005 18:04  
Blogger T. Leach said...

I like those tiny flies that bore into the skulls of red ants, laying their eggs. They're releasing them in the south to control the red ant population. And that's fucking awesome. Nature ... you gotta love it.

06 December, 2005 22:50  
Blogger El Barbudo said...

If mosquitoes are trying to get hold of your blood, do you get attacked more at certain times of the month?

07 December, 2005 05:30  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

The Intelligent Design mob have never explained the purpose of parasitic bloodsucking insects, well not to my satisfaction anyway. On the batshit front, so long as you don't eat it or rub it on your face, you should be OK.

WV word is njamibaq VERY auspicious!

07 December, 2005 06:31  
Blogger Andraste said...

Anonymous - at least make up a name, for heaven's sake. And I'm not talking about cuddling up with bats like I do my cats. I'm talking about a chemical free solution to a mosquito problem. Jesus.

Tleach - fucking cool or what?

Beardy - no, no difference at all. You disgusting perv.

Dr.Maroom - Thank you for your common sense! Jeez...anyone would think I was going to make tea with the frigging guano.

And the question of rabies: How much more likely is a bat to have rabies than a squirrel, raccoon, cat, dog, chipmunk, skunk...Jesus Christ on a stick, people, let's be sensible.

07 December, 2005 09:35  
Blogger Brewski said...

Bats rule the world! Summer nights late back at my Mum's house, in the garden. Uncle Tim over from Dublin, attack the red, on to the Jamesons', little bats chattering over our circle of light. And they never shit on us! Good lads.

07 December, 2005 10:04  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Possibly because they can fly, bat's don't get predated on when infected, unlike the numerous 4 legged mammals you mentioned, hence they tend to spread the disease more before succumbing to it...I once woke up to a bat nibbling on my toe, it skulked in from a door to the barn adjacent to my apartment...it seems that toes resemble grapes to the little winged rats...note to self: Don't accept a cup of tea from a bat lover. Anonymous is as good a name as any in the blogosphere...

07 December, 2005 11:25  
Blogger deadpanann said...

Forgive me for not knowing, but why is bat shit more repugnant than the terds of other animals?

I actually felt fond toward bats after reading this post, then come here and trip over a pile of shit. A pile of anonymous shit. Now THAT is what I call repugnant shit.

10 December, 2005 14:24  

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