Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Two aliens walk into a bar...


I tend not to take an immediate, definite dislike to people I meet for the first time. Nor do I find I'm immediately enamored of people right away. Believe it or not, I do try very hard not to make snap judgments without first at least having a few conversations, getting to know a person a little. I'm shy, an introvert, and appreciate a little understanding before people form any hard opinions about me...I need to warm up to people and find I like it when people give me the opportunity to be warmed up to. And having gotten to know people, I really find that I actively dislike very few people. If I don't end up liking someone, or being able to see eye to eye with them on SOME level, they remain at the periphery, not someone I spend time with, so therefore don't waste any energy hating them or even thinking about them much.

But eeeeeevery once in a while, I meet someone for whom the antagonism is immediate, definite, even violent. One such person is someone I met at a wedding a few years ago. It was the wife of a co-worker of my husband, and it was almost...chemical. She was flashy, glittering with shiny clothes, jewelry, make up, and biting ill-humor. The antithesis of me, in short. Proceeded to give me her expert opinions about everything, including the behavioral patterns and psychological imbalances in cats with calico patterns. "It's been proven," she said. (Erm... it should be noted that she does not own cats, but has several large dogs. While I...I own three cats, one of them a calico, the smartest of the three, and the one I think is probably smart enough to have a paper route, if she only had thumbs.) When I tried to say this, I was interrupted. "No," she said again, "it's been documented."

Fucking crazy bitch.


And this one that I've met a few times at a friend's house. A relative of hers, an in-law. This is one that is less crazy, but still...what IS it about this woman that makes me cringe when I'm in her company? Is it the sense she gives off of always 'sizing me up?' Maybe that's it. It just always seems that I'm on display, up on some kind of block, waiting for her approval or disapproval. And she's looking me over, ready at any time, with the slightest provocation, to give me thumbs down and send me to the lions. And I can find no common ground, nothing to talk with her about. News, current events, books, music, nothing. She's only a couple of years older than I, and yet...we're just worlds apart.

It's like...it's like two aliens, from different universes, coming together in one place, looking each other up and down and going " What the fuck are you???"

3 Comments:

Anonymous mrspea said...

I'm laughing my ass off right now ...
hey, she does it to me too and we actually care for each other ... a great deal.
But that look of hers ... drives me flippin' crazy.
Hahahhahaha ...
thanks for the chuckle, cupcake. love ya tons,
mrs pea

04 April, 2006 12:46  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

'I don't know, but it is fucking looking back!'
Sorry, childish answer. I too try hard not to dislike folk, but I seem to be failing! I dilike the harpy becasue she is mean and wants to A) know everyone's business and B) discuss what she knows in a bitchy and totally uncalled for manner.
I don't like that pink haired wench either, becasue I don't understand her or her hostility to the world.
I don't like my mother for the same reason.
And people who don't own cats should shut their yaps about them. I have three of them, one clever (15), one doghnut scoffing bully (4)and one so affectionate he's almost like a dog (he comes when whistled and can do tricks and frequently falls asleep with his tongue sticking out) (11). None of them are alike so that flashy chick is nothing more than a not-so-smart know-it-all who should be horse whipped.

04 April, 2006 17:00  
Blogger Monstee said...

Having never met her, me will refrain from commenting on fucking crazy bitch who mindlessly regurgitates stupid bullshit about cats. Me have had may pets. Sure, most of them rodents, but me have had me share of cats too. Me can truly say that smartest cat me ever room with (me no like to say "own" cause cat's think they "own" us and me not want to get in pissing contest) was a five patterned calico named Generic. Me taught her to shake, speak and (when she was young) run 5 feet up a brick wall. On her own she learn that when the phone ring you run over to it and make noise. For her it was kinda like "Yeah-rrroe?" but me must say that up until she started losing her teeth she continued to work on her H's.

05 April, 2006 01:50  

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