Monday, November 27, 2006

...comes the rallying cry of....BULLSHIT!!!!

A few random things that irritate me or that just don't ring true:

* If I spend 45 minutes on my elliptical machine and at the end of it, the dial only shows that I've done 1.67 miles...FUCK THAT. If that thing had wheels I'd be half way to the freakin' Berkshires! 45 minutes, on foot, walking at a normal pace, and I've done AT LEAST 2.5 miles, so how can this machine only say 1.67 miles? HOw is that calibrated? I'm calling BULLSHIT.

* Who puts out this PS3 thing anyway? Is it Sony? Sorry, I'm not up on the latest thing in geeks...uh...ahem, games, I mean. You're telling me they couldn't make enough of them so that people wouldn't have to start lining up at 4 in the morning, and shoot each other to get them? They probably cost about 2 bucks to make each, in whatever sweatshop they come out of. I'm expected to believe they didn't deliberately underproduce, to create a rush on these things that has the potential for violence? Again, BULLSHIT.

* Rodeo is a sport? Fuck that. I root for the Bull. "Yeah, buck him! BUCK HIM!!! Stomp on his ignorant head!" says I. Literally: Rodeo is BULLSHIT.

* Bullfighting: See above. Foreign BULLSHIT.

* Why does Alex Trebeck feel the need to pronounce foreign words and phrases so correctly and poncily? I especially hate it when he lisps on Thpanish wordth and phrathes. Verdict: Pretentiouth BullTHIT.

* YEAH there's more. I just have to do some work BULLSHIT before I can justify more blogging.


Blogger ExAfrica said...

Yeh - i always wondered about the gym machines - 20 minutes jogging and I've only burned 65 calories?? I could have burned that by vacuuming and shortened my to-do list at the same time. (Okay, well maybe I wasn't jogging the whole time)

That said - I'll be back tomorrow hot and heavy at the gym - Thanksgiving was well catered.

27 November, 2006 21:41  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Welcome back sweetie. I missed you naturally delightful dispostition.

28 November, 2006 05:48  
Anonymous Devin said...

Do you have any hill climbs or descents programmed into your routine? Maybe vertical distances aren't taken into account and that's what the problem is.
I just finished up with my gym after three years because I realised I can all of the things I need(Bike,run) to do on my own.
A three mile run outdoors in exactly three miles everyfuckingtime.Novel idea that.

28 November, 2006 10:28  
Blogger Andraste said...

Exafrica - too true. Since I don't eat landwalkers, I had to eat nothing but starch for T-day dinner. Mash, mash, and more mash. Oh, and bread. I shall be paying for this till Christmas, when I do it all again. Tofu turkey? Too disgusting for words.

FMC - I am delightful, aren't I? Just doing my job, ma'am!

Devin - I do the pre-set workouts on the machine, which have variations in resistance, which I assume mean inclines and descents. I cannot run outdoors. The pavement is brutal on my joints, and boobs. I need no-impact cardio, otherwise, I will break. I can do an hour on the elliptical, with varying resistances, speeds, etc., but I can't make it around the block without puking. I don't know....

28 November, 2006 10:43  
Anonymous Amy said...

Those machines lie. I read that they overestimate by about 30% in one of my fitness magazines. So that is of cold comfort. I figure if I'm sweaty, it's worth my time.

I would also like to call bullshit on Trebek with no mustache.

And I'd like to call bullshit on the long lines at my gym. If I don't get there by 5:10pm, it's ten people deep to get any cardiovascular equipment.

28 November, 2006 10:44  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Do your joints hurt even if you run on grass? I suffer terribly on concrete, but now that I've taken up squelshing around Bushy park not so much. A good sprt bra really help, and not those 'sports bras' chains advertise, I mean a proper full on 'cost an arm and a leg but nothing not even a nuclear explosion will make these puppies jiggle' sports bra.

28 November, 2006 10:49  
Blogger Andraste said...

Amy - 10 people deep to get on a machine? That blows! This is why I could never join a gym, and must work out at home. People: I don't hate them, but I sure feel better when they're not around.

FMC- Not sure about running on grass. Haven't done it since I quit softball and haven't played touch football in a few years. Anyway, as soon as we move into the new house, we'll be pricing some treadmills. I don't mind treadmills so much, though my shins get a little tetchy... And sports bras, yeah, I have a collection of different sizes and 'boobsmushiness.' They do help, but I'm pretty busty, so any kind of running does make my girls go OUCH.

28 November, 2006 10:58  

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