Wednesday, January 24, 2007

While we're on the subject of religious nutjobs


Here’s this Laura Mallory woman, the Bible thumping moron down in Georgia who keeps going to court to have the Harry Potter books banned in local school libraries. By her own admission, she has not actually bothered to read* the books, yet claims that they indoctrinate children into Wicca.**

Juuuuuust …a little unfamiliar with the concept of FICTION, are we?

Jesus Christ Almighty.

She’s been shot down so many times, and rightly so, by local courts, and yet, like a pimple on the arse of progress, she keeps coming back to further embarrass herself and try it again. Even after she’s been called by the Washington Post “2006 IDIOT OF THE YEAR.”

I don’t know, a title like that would make me crawl back into my warren and not come out again until someone new makes the idiot list and the spotlight is on them. Or at least do a little self-examination and try to figure out just-what-they-mean-by-that.

What we really have here is a woman so afraid of an opposing viewpoint or differing set of values or lifestyles, that she wants to transform her whole little world into a place where she never has to come in contact with anything that doesn’t jive with her dogmatic rules for life. You don’t like it? Don't simply make it go away. You must also, evidently, make it inaccessible to everyone else, too. Because what Laura Mallory deems as wrong or evil, we are all also bound to consider wrong and evil.

You insane, selfish, stupid, joyless cow.

Frankly, I don't see the difference between kids reading Harry Potter and thinking they can do magic and children reading the Bible and thinking virgins give birth and carpenters get resurrected. She talks about the HP books containing blood sacrifice, satanic ritual, violence, etc. Well, I have news for this bimbo: The Bible is JAM PACKED with absolutely HORRIFYING tales of voilence, murder and mayhem. Example: That Lot character was a despicable old man, who offered up his own daughters to be RAPED, rather than let anyone think he was a bad host. Then he goes off into the mountains and impregnates those same daughters himself. Disgusting.

You know what? Even if the HP books DO lead children to experiment with witchcraft…I say let them experiment. It’s a phase that won’t last long, and the children (who have notoriously short attention spans) will move on to other things after they actually try to ‘cast a spell’ and then...of course...

...wait for it...




NOTHING. FUCKING. HAPPENS.





(*I think she said the reason she has not read the books is that they’re ‘too long,’ though most children tend to read them in the course of a day or two…huh. I think she’s just a little bit afraid she might actually enjoy herself. These evangelical Christians are just so anti-fun.)

(**...and what's wrong with Wicca anyway? Just a bunch of fat old hippies with hairy armpits, worshipping nature, dressing like Stevie Nicks and burning incense. Seems pretty harmless to me. At least part of their system of belief has something to do with taking care of the bloody planet, and leaving other people alone to worship or not, as they please. I mean...sure, a few may join covens hoping to get laid, but there's no harm in that, that I can see.)

11 Comments:

Blogger Fresh Hell said...

I'd cast a spell to pursuade someone to take a Louisville Slugger to her kneecaps, and the kneecaps of everyone like her lacking the capacity for cognative reason, if I thought it'd actually make a difference. Who made her the fun police?!

25 January, 2007 07:58  
Blogger P1P said...

How did I miss her? It seems unsporting now to pick over the bones of her well chewed carcass. If you are out of the loop for a bit you miss all the fun.


Oh what the hell...

What the fuck is she thinking? The bible thumping, inbred, dumbshit, godbothering, holier than thou, stuck up, small minded, uneducated, check wearing swamp donkey.

Ai Thankyew

25 January, 2007 10:22  
Blogger Amy said...

"...like a pimple on the arse of progress..."

You win. That is too awesome. HA!

Also, I hate these book-burning jackholes too.

25 January, 2007 10:53  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Ah Christians. Holding back the enlightenment since the days before Galileo.

25 January, 2007 11:58  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

'Get thee back with yer GOD hatn (sic) ways! So sayeth THE LORD! For you will now thine enemy and his name will be HARRY!'
I bet this gee back organises purity balls too.

25 January, 2007 12:14  
Blogger Old Knudsen said...

Seriously I could get laid in a coven? Harry Potter makes me kill hoors and Jesus makes me have sex with the bodies, shit! I really do need to join a coven and meet new (age) people.

25 January, 2007 16:53  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

"yet claims that they indoctrinate children into Wicca"

If there's any indoctrination going on, By God, she wants to be the one to do it.

She looks and sounds as if a little bit of Wiccaning might do her a power of good

25 January, 2007 17:51  
Blogger The Hangar Queen said...

Who were that other shower that used to go round banning/burning books,dressing in black and bossing people around?..You know..that Father Ted's lot...
I'll just bet she has a shiny pair of jackboots ready and waiting.

26 January, 2007 00:36  
Blogger El Guapo in DC said...

Ten dollars says she's into leather.

26 January, 2007 00:39  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

More power to her, I say.
JK Rowling couldn't write to save her godamned life and yet here she is, the richest woman in the world. Are you telling me she hasn't had congress with the horned one?

Stevie Nicks, Mmmmmmmm.

26 January, 2007 12:16  
Blogger deadpanann said...

I'm never a fan of anything that takes books OUT of schools. I mean, as long as we don't have How to Kill a Teacher For Dummies or How to Make a Bomb Using Only the Items in Your Desk, I say just be glad they're READING!!!

30 January, 2007 22:03  

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