Saturday, November 24, 2007

Rabbit, Heal Thyself!

I have decided that the most likely cause of the dizziness last week was simple malnourishment. Realized that between all the work, worry about the cat, and a tendency to forget to eat (also sometimes the idea of mastication is just vile and I have NO idea why - but it IS, isn't it?) that I am simply not getting enough calories. No amount of vitamin water or pills will replace real food. You don't stay healthy by supplementing a shite diet with vitamins in pill form or by additives in your water. Chirren, you got to give your stomach something to DO.

You need protein, whole grains, greens, fats, and - sorry Dr. Atkins - enough carbs to keep the energy going and give your metabolism a shot. So, I'm probably going to gain a few pounds in the coming weeks, as I increase caloric intake. But it will even out and I'll probably lose it again once my system makes the adjustment. Naturally, this means I have to increase the workouts - all the vitamins from food don't mean squat if you don't get the oxygen and endorphins going and zipping around your carcass like a bunch of horny frat boys.

And with that image, I leave the computer to throw my face into a pile of dinner (vegetarian shepherd's pie and steamed broccoli - with full fat ice cream for dessert and maybe a nice little Rioja) pop in a DVD, and contemplate how I'm going to get steroids down my cat's neck twice tomorrow without having my arms shredded to buggery.

Ah, Saturday night. Envy me, you worms!


Blogger fatmammycat said...

That sounds like a pretty good bloomin' Saturday night to me. I went gambling last night. I lost a whole ten of my favourite and much loved Euros. Not good. ALthough considerably better than the guy who was up 20,000 grand on the roulette table and then down ten minutes later. I was in a sweat even watching him. What balls. I could never be a gambler, I don't have the constitution for it.
Hop you're feeling better soon.

25 November, 2007 07:40  
Blogger Andraste said...

Cat- it gets worse. You know what movie I chose? Practical Magic. Hokey and absolutely silly, full of plot holes and stupid sequences that are probably more like music videos than cinema. But - absolute escapism, perfect casting and utterly pretty to watch.

Yes, I confess: I watched a...gag...'chick flick.'

25 November, 2007 08:29  
Blogger Medbh said...

Andraste, a good method to alleviate the chance of being shredded my the kitties when administering meds is to wrap them up in a bath towel papoose style first. It worked for me anyway.
I tell myself that I can eat like shit and the vitamins will compensate but I know it's bunk. Enjoy the calorie fest.

25 November, 2007 10:26  
Blogger Andraste said...

Ah yes, Medbh, kitty burrito. I've tried that. She sees the towel coming a mile away and pfffft! Off she go!

Anyway, I've managed two doses of the steroid and antibiotic so far. I think she's just so weak she's giving in. When this stuff starts to work and she gets stronger, it'll get tougher, but I'm grateful I could get started without too much sturm and drang anyway.

25 November, 2007 10:32  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I guess if it was the type of thing you could hide in her food you'd have tried it by now.

I used to work in a vet's and we did the towel thing. I used to open the cat's mouth by putting my hand on the back of its head, feeling for its jaws and then gently squeezing. Some reflex or other is triggered and the cat opens wide. Then I'd slip the tablet in the side, way at the back of the tongue, close the cat's mouth but keep its nose towards the ceiling and stroking under its chin and throat. If the cat wasn't swallowing, I'd blow a wee puff of air at its nose. That worked about 80% of the time. The rest of the time I just wore leather gloves and took the beating. We had cats tear around the shelves sometimes causing havoc and damage and expensive spillage. One time, the vet had to scoop one out of a top shelf in a net meant for waterfowl. It was almost back in his hands when it leapt out and onto my shoulders extracting its pound of flesh in revenge. I had gouges all over one boob, my shoulder and down my back. At that moment I hated all catkind, even Garfield.

25 November, 2007 18:32  
Blogger Andraste said...

Yes, Sam. They're very devils when they're frightened, no?

Unfortunately crushing it in food is not an option. It's just too difficult to segregate her from the other cats for feeding, and she won't touch any food that's got 'extras' in it. And the food she DOES eat, she eats so messily, leaving bits of it all over a two food radius from the bowl, that there's no way to ensure she gets the full dosage.

I've been lulling her into a sense of security by hand feeding her tuna. HAND FEEDING TUNA - prompting the SPOUSE to insist he's coming back in his next life as one of my cats. (Not at all a bad life, I must admit.) As soon as she's comfortable, eating the tuna out of my hand, and while leaving the tuna scent still all over my fingers, I've been able to grab her, open her jaw pretty much as you describe, and dropping that pill down as far as I can get it, then rubbing her neck till I'm sure she's swallowed it. It takes her a full 12 hours to trust me again, which is a good thing, because by the time she trusts me again it's time for another dose.

25 November, 2007 20:22  
Blogger Caro said...

You can have some of my calories. I'll set you up a direct debit...

26 November, 2007 04:25  
Blogger Fresh Hell said...

Practical Magic is one of my chick flick escape films. All you say of it is true, but sometimes it's nice to have the happy ending.

I hope thins are moving along smoothly with luna.

Have a fuckin' cookie, would you!

27 November, 2007 08:01  

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