Wednesday, September 28, 2005

I better not ever see anyone in these

Jesus Christ! Comfort, shmomfort, there is NO EXCUSE FOR THIS:





Let's digest these for a moment, shall we?

Nope, nothing redeemable here whatsoever.

I'm fairly certain that if I look down and see these walking around, the chances of looking up and finding anyone sane, attractive, intelligent attached are...fucking nil. You would have to be a clinically insane hippie to want this mess anywhere near your feet.

I have never seen anyone wearing these. But if I do, I promise, on everything that I consider good and holy, that I will ridicule, most cruelly and mercilessly, the wearer of such an abomination.

Come the fuck ON, people.

16 Comments:

Blogger Father of 3 said...

Pretty fugly, Andraste. I might, however, buy a pair for my wife and secretly videotape her reaction. This would make some good material for the um, er, blogosphere. (sorry)

28 September, 2005 11:54  
Blogger Andraste said...

Wow, that's a risk, Fof3. If my husband bought a pair of these for me, I would divorce him.

28 September, 2005 11:58  
Blogger T. Leach said...

Yeah. They'd better have a seeing-eye dog with them. What is that, wool?

28 September, 2005 12:23  
Blogger Andraste said...

Nice point, didn't think about the blind...but even blind, the texture of knitted product being passed off as footwear would clue me in...

28 September, 2005 12:29  
Blogger mrshife said...

I don't even think Richard Simmons would wear those bad boys. I think there are sheep crying themseleves to sleep at night.

28 September, 2005 12:58  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it a slipper?
Is it a sock? D
Does one wear socks with it?
It's certainly not a slipper-sock?
I'm scared.
I'm very, very, very scared.

28 September, 2005 14:20  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

If you put batteries in them and they allegedly massage your feet, my mom bought those for herself last Christmas.

28 September, 2005 14:38  
Anonymous muff diver said...

The good thing is that the 8, 9 and 10 year olds in India who make them were paid their 20 cents per day.
It matters little if they reach an end consumer.
Rejoice!

28 September, 2005 14:51  
Blogger Andraste said...

Somewhere, there's a cow screaming, "NO..TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!!"

28 September, 2005 15:32  
Blogger Father of 3 said...

The above comment from Andraste,( Somewhere, there's a cow screaming, "NO..TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!!") is by far the funniest thing I've read in a very long time. Thanks for the chuckle.

28 September, 2005 15:49  
Anonymous muff diver said...

Andraste,
Do you think, with help, I too could become a fawning and toadying sycophant?
The cows in India live well!

28 September, 2005 16:36  
Blogger Andraste said...

Down, Muff, DOWN!

Good God, how many ways could THAT be interpreted?

28 September, 2005 16:45  
Anonymous muff diver said...

If I have to go down, I want a biscuit! Not one of those cheap dollar store ones either, a proper biscuit!
And a pat on the head

And a belly rub, too!

The two sentences of my previous comment are not to be considered together as one thought.

28 September, 2005 16:55  
Anonymous vague said...

Andraste, if you lived in Zembla you'd be pretty effing busy just trying to ridicule all the insane hippies sporting shoes like that (and much worse). I mean, in a rainy climate a person has to be completely mental to think that is appropriate footwear. It must be all the herb. "Duuuuude, my shoes are like, kinda a sweater, man."

28 September, 2005 17:03  
Anonymous rachy said...

Such things are called Hausschuhe in Germany, house shoes, because they should only be worn INSIDE THE HOUSE

29 September, 2005 01:04  
Blogger Annie said...

Woolly foot pullover blanket shapes are fine for indoors, everyone wants to pretend to be a sad old lady and spend the day drinking vodka and watching TV sometimes, for instance if they have been unlucky in love or if they just realise they hate everything all of a sudden.

But I actually want people to wear these things in public so I can watch when it starts raining and they realise their feet are enclosed in enormous sodden lumps of wool too heavy to lift off the ground anymore, and they stand there all confused about what to do.

29 September, 2005 15:57  

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