Monday, October 17, 2005

Pink, even though I hate it.

A kindergarten teacher was watching her students file in one morning, keeping an eye out for a new student she knew would be starting that day. After all the other children had come in, a bashful little cherub was escorted in by the school secretary. The teacher thought this had to be the most beautiful child she'd ever seen. An ethereal, fairy-like, golden-haired girl, with big, teary eyes the color of cornflowers, and the most perfect peaches and cream complexion. The child was clearly very frightened and bashful, so the teacher decided to take her aside, show a little extra care and try to alleviate some of her fears about being in a new school.

She gave the other children a few minutes to settle in, then gave them some coloring to do, so she would have a moment to talk to the new little cherub. She asked the child's name, and in a voice like the tinkling of fairy bells, the child answered, "My name is Petal."

"What a beautiful name, Petal," exclaimed the teacher. "And however did you get such an unusual name?"

Clearly beginning to warm up to the teacher's compliments and interest, the girl told her story. "On the day I was born," she said, "my mother was very ill. And my daddy didn't know if she was going to live. He waited for hours, holding some red roses, and he was so nervous that he kind of mushed them up without knowing it. But when he came in to visit her after the doctors said it was all right, he bent over her to kiss her, and she was holding me, so the petals from the roses fell onto my forehead and they decided right then and there to call me Petal."

The days flew by, and soon it was time for show & tell. On that day, Petal brought in her little dog, "Porky," a sweet, happy, fluffy little thing, that all the other children immediately fell in love with. For show & tell, Petal had the dog doing all kinds of cute little tricks, which had all the children laughing and cheering.

Eventually, curiosity getting the better of her, the teacher had to ask, "Petal, however did your dog come by such an unusual name?"

"He fucks pigs."

8 Comments:

Blogger coffee and cigarettes said...

GOLD

17 October, 2005 13:15  
Blogger LBseahag said...

I almost died on that one...i got cheated on with a "stripper" named Petal...

that Porky Bitch...

17 October, 2005 14:03  
Blogger Dr. E. Scientist, phD. said...

Eeeexcellent!

But the blue is definitely better than the pink.

17 October, 2005 17:33  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yellow or gray ... pink is too much!
G

17 October, 2005 17:35  
Blogger Andraste said...

I'm definitely with yous guys on the pink. Fookin' terrible.

I thought this was the right story to test it on, though.

So far, I think the gray is still ahead. Though I just realized there's nothing stopping me from changing the color to go with the post. Hmmmmmm....

17 October, 2005 17:57  
Blogger LindyK said...

I'm with the Evil Doc -- blue is good. Gray, also good. Just not that infernal pink! Although it suits your brilliant post marvelously well...

17 October, 2005 18:38  
Blogger mrshife said...

No stinky pinky. I couldn't resist.
I like the blue as well.

17 October, 2005 19:54  
Blogger El Barbudo said...

Dark grey - make the bastards squint

18 October, 2005 06:59  

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