Tuesday, December 20, 2005

That got me thinking...

I'm going to offend some people with today's post, some of them close friends and people I really do love, but fuck it, this is how I feel.

So, yesterday's post about the asshole with all the bad Disney tattoos got me to thinking about tattooing in general.

Here's the thing: I think there is entirely too much tattooing going on right now.

I have no objection to a little body art, here or there, to commemorate some huge life event, to remind one of some great adversity you've survived, if you MUST have some kind of permanent, visible reminder, other than your arse still pointing south. (Surviving cancer or a terrorist attack would be about the only things I can think of that would be that HUGE. Getting out of prison or finally being able to afford a new trailer doesn't fucking cut it, Cleetus.) I've toyed with the idea of getting something on my upper arm, something small that I could cover up or show at will, depending upon the occasion. But tattoos are permanent, and I have yet to find anything that means as much to me one day as the next, or represents something big enough in my life. So until something worthy presents itself, or until I NEED to have the symbol of some great pain, adversity, etc., upon my body FOREVER, I'm ink-free.

The point is, it's supposed to MEAN something. You don't want to walk into a tattoo parlor, just pick a design off the wall and get ink PERMANENTLY INJECTED into your skin, just because that day you thought that design was pretty. "Uhhhhh...*giggle*...I'll get the butterfly." Fuck off, Misty. You're clearly too stupid to be let out on your own. And all these idiot females with these tribal designs on their lower back, that they have NO IDEA about what they represent or what it'll look like when they have a few more years and pounds worth of mileage on them. Jesus.

As Milk & Cheese once said, "Yeah, let's adopt the tribal customs of foreign people, without any of the scary, foreign religious or cultural significance. YEAH!!!"

Now that everyone has a tattoo of something, it seems we're not supposed to make judgments about a person's character, capabilities, intelligence, class, etc. Well, let's face it. We do. It used to be just hardended criminals, bikers, women of easy virtue, and tough military types who had tattoos. I'm not talking about a little something here or there that you can cover up, I'm talking about a tattoo that is VISIBLE to everyone around you, that you cannot cover up unless you're sporting a burkha, in which case, you'd have been killed for even thinking about getting a tattoo... Like it or not, when you see a tattoo that is visible on a person's face or neck, unless they're a fucking Maori warrior, you think "what a stupid dick."

Here's what goes with facial or neck tattoos: Criminal records

Here's what DOESN'T go with facial or neck tattoos: Jobs

In my hometown, though I didn't realize it when I was living there because I was probably too young, there was evidently a big class division between the locals and the people who went to the liberal arts college situated there. In recent years, a fight broke out between some local kids after a party, and one of the students from this college got caught up in it and was stabbed to death. The kid who was arrested, charged and convicted of the crime juuuuuust happened to have a shaved head, and devil's horn tattoos on his fucking head.

...the fuck?

Whether the kid is guilty or not (hey, it could have been accidental, and he was supposed to be considered innocent until proven guilty) the tattoos HAD to have influenced the jury. I'm sure the kid's defense asked the jury to look beyond the head tattoos, at this "gentle, sweet kid, who has had a tough life." Seems to me, though, if you go out of your way to get devil's horns tattooed upon your fucking head, you are creating a persona for yourself. You have created a persona to which murder and mayhem are intrinsic, and a perfectly logical eventuality. Asking people to look beyond that is a little naive, doncha think?


Blogger fatmammycat said...

I hate tatoos, I think they are disgusting.

20 December, 2005 11:36  
Blogger LBseahag said...

Great post. I have a few tats, but no one at work even knows...those are the best kind, if any...

that disney guy needs to be shot.

20 December, 2005 12:01  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd like you to know that Mizz Gloria had tatts ... yep, she had eyebrows permanently inked on her face ... ok, so that's a whole other day's post.
Me, I can do without any additional pain.
Though some days I do think "DITZ" is written across my forehead.

20 December, 2005 12:10  
Blogger Andraste said...

FMC - Fair play to you. You're all-natural, baby.

Seahag - Fair play to you, too. It's all about options.

Mrs.Pea - Yes, that IS a whole other day's post. Eyebrow tattoos? Can't say it doesn't make me a big squeamish to think of someone with an ink-filled needle near my EYES. Gloria was a braver woman than I...

20 December, 2005 12:23  
Blogger justbreathe28 said...

these days you're more unusual if you don't have one,kindof ironic,but every tom dick and fucking harry has one.
cartoon characters are especially pointless,not to mention hiiiiiiiiideous.
over here alot of twats sport dolphin tats.so goddam tacky,why oh why....

20 December, 2005 13:27  
Blogger Andraste said...

Not getting tattooed is the new getting tattooed.

*I didn't make that up, I read it somewhere, but I can't remember where.

20 December, 2005 13:36  
Blogger justbreathe28 said...

God i hate it when people coin new phrases like that.it's like,brown is the new black,or some shit like that.however just to let you know,black is the new black...apparently.

20 December, 2005 13:58  
Blogger Sterculian Rhetoric said...

In Ontario, Canada, epidural anesthesia for child birth is withheld from women with lower back tattoos. There is a risk of infection if certain ink types were used. To be safe, as no one can remember what ink type they have, no one gets it!

That'll learn 'em!

20 December, 2005 14:49  
Blogger mrshife said...

I am not offended, and you make some excellent points. I have two tattoos but they are hidden because they are for me to see and not the world.

20 December, 2005 16:30  
Blogger Andraste said...

Exactly. For you alone...and to shock the orderlies at the nursing home in about 50 years.

20 December, 2005 16:48  
Blogger LindyK said...

I had a couple roommates come home from terrible places like Mexico with stupid shite ugly tats, and I just laughed... personally, I can't think of anything I wouldn't be sick of seeing on my body 20 years later! Besides, getting a tat in Mexico is like inviting in gonoherpocephilitis... blech!

20 December, 2005 21:05  
Blogger Binty McShae said...

Reminds me of two friends.... one came from a Pictish family in a remote part of Scotland. For those that don't know the Picts lived in the British Isles long before the Celts or anyone else. Anyway, they traditionally have big fuck off tatoos on the face, much like maoris. This guy's dad wouldn't let him, though, because he didn't want his son facing the same shit he'd got over the years. It's a shame in this case when the tatoo is actually something legitimate...

The other guy had a mother who was something big in the legal world, not a judge but something like it. She had a guy up before her because he had the words "FUCK THE WORLD" tatooed on his forehead (I don't know the exact charge against him). In her infinite wisdom she sentenced the guy to have the word "DON'T" tatooed above it.....

21 December, 2005 01:12  
Blogger El Barbudo said...

I met a guy once who had "FFO KCUF" tattooed on his forehead because he'd done it himself in the mirror...

21 December, 2005 06:36  
Anonymous stephenesque said...

Frankly, I have always wondered what real tribal tattoos actually "mean" even on tribal people: I have more sticks than you? My mud is browner that yours? I am the same as everybody else in this jungle clearing?

21 December, 2005 09:17  

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