Wednesday, December 21, 2005

While I'm on the subject of body 'art'



Tattoos are one thing, but I am SICK TO FUCKING DEATH of navel rings, nose rings, eyebrow rings, genitalia piercing bullshit...all of it. It is fucking IDIOCY. STOP IT.

If you were born in the United States, in the 20th Century, and not in some African tribe in any other fucking century, it is NOT PART OF YOUR FUCKING CULTURAL BACKGROUND, and you cannot adopt other people's cultural background without looking like a total twat. It does not make you cool and rebellious and sexy. It makes you look like a conformist, faddish cunt, with no respect for yourself or your individuality. Are you trying to shock? IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK ANYMORE. It stopped working in the late 80's, so just find some other way.

And you parents who allow your children of under 18 to get pierced anywhere but their're cunts too. If I had a daughter, and she asked for a navel ring for her 13th birthday, I would lock her up.

This mother in the Boston area whose 13 year old daughter nearly fucking DIED from an infection caused by a cheap navel ring? Should be eaten by rats.

...oh, and on another subject entirely: Johnny Damon - Fuck off.


Blogger SafeTinspector said...

We have a name for facial tattoos or piercings at my office:
Salary Caps.

What do you think to tongue splitting? Still shocks the crap out of me.....not that I like it any more.

21 December, 2005 11:23  
Blogger Andraste said...

Tongue splitting? Jaysus! Words fail. If I ever meet anyone with a split tongue, I'll ask them to show it to me close up, then grab both bits and pull, in opposite directions, hard.

21 December, 2005 11:28  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Who or what is a Johnny Damon? I hate piercings too. Over here there seems to be a trend for people to pierce their chins, it is vile and the fuckers looks like they have a pointy growth on their face.

21 December, 2005 12:07  
Blogger Andraste said...

FMC - I forget some of my readers aren't baseball fans. Johnny Damon is a moron who once played center field for the Red Sox, but who has sold his soul to the devil to play for the Yankees. The guy who was a pretty good leadoff hitter, but couldn't really throw...and who needed a road map to get out of a sentence. A more articulate take on the whole thing has been provided by Kristen, over at "basegirl." (link to the right.)

21 December, 2005 12:25  
Blogger Yeah, him. said...

I feel your animosity towards Johnny Damon. However, the one thing I feel more than anything is that Curt Schilling, Josh Beckett, Tim Wakefield, and either David Wells, Matt Clement or Bronson Arroyo need to throw at his head to get it set in stone that he could have gone anywhere - but he chose there. If you look at who has come the other way (fat ass drunken slob David Wells (who I hate), over the hill slime ball David Cone and Ramiro "I don't even know who the hell I am" Mendoza), it's not like they were the defining identity of the team. Wells was rejected several times (to Toronto and San Diego) and Cone just didn't want to retire yet, but Damon is something different. Like I said, it's the stab of betrayal several years in a row... Giambi, Brown, Johnson... Who is next?
Slime fucks 1 and all.

21 December, 2005 12:36  
Blogger Andraste said...

Speaking of needing a road map to get out of a sentence...Dan, I had to read this about four times before I got what you were saying.

I never saw Damon as the defining identity of the team. I never saw the team as having a defining identity. They're a mish-mash, which I've always kind of liked. Frankly, I thought he was overrated and a fool. And too smug for his own good. I won't miss him and his stupid hair.

21 December, 2005 12:48  
Blogger Yeah, him. said...

What was the link to the other site you spoke of other than basegirl?

21 December, 2005 13:12  
Blogger Andraste said...

you'll have to scroll down, she's very prolific today, and has already posted more stuff on top of the Damon piece.

21 December, 2005 13:28  
Blogger El Barbudo said...

You're showing your age Andraste.

Body piercing isn't aimed at people over 29. It looks fine on teenagers - if it pisses you off, it's supposed to.

Remember the whole rebellion thing?

What looks really fucking awful is people over 30 with facial/body piercings, but that's just midlife crisis stuff.

Ever worry that you're turning into one of those grumpy old bitches who is constantly complaining?

Caught yourself saying lately:

"Youth of today..."
"no respect for..."
"not like in my day..."
"don't know how lucky they are..."
"do they call that music? Ha! Give me a tune I can hum!"

21 December, 2005 13:37  
Blogger Andraste said...

No, Beardy, none of those things.

Okay, I'm old.

Piercing is still fucking stupid, though. And I KNOW you agree.

21 December, 2005 14:01  
Blogger LBseahag said...

I am sick of seeing mendhi out here in CA...

this is not Bombay...

21 December, 2005 15:09  
Blogger mrshife said...

Body piercings baffle me as well. I just don't get it. And it will be an interesting day when Johnny Damon comes back to Boston in the pinstripes.

21 December, 2005 15:18  
Blogger the anti-barney said...

Yes and they skin your knuckles when you hit them.They should be outlawed under the Geneva convention.

21 December, 2005 15:32  
Blogger Sterculian Rhetoric said...

This guy was ugly before he got his piercings, and no doubt, never got laid. With the piercings, he probably has to beat the women away with a stick! 'Tis sad, but I have seen it!

21 December, 2005 15:34  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Damon is only proving what I figured out back in 1997. Baseball isn't worth shit. If the sport (and players) ever did care about its fans, it (and its players) sure as hell doesn't now.

21 December, 2005 16:36  
Blogger Andraste said...

Well...I'm not going to impugn an entire sport because of this. I love baseball, it's a beautiful game. I do believe that there are players who care about the cities they play in and the fans.

Look at David Ortiz!

21 December, 2005 16:58  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

Smashing stuff! It had to be said.
I tug my beard at you with respect.

21 December, 2005 17:26  
Blogger Andraste said...

Thanks, Doc. That cheered me up. I was having a baaaad day.

21 December, 2005 17:50  
Blogger El Barbudo said...

Yeah yeah, so you know me well and I do agree with you, but I still think you're showing your age.

21 December, 2005 19:18  
Blogger Andraste said...

Yes, but not my maturity. Heh.

Anyway, I made a choice to display my age in the profile anyway, so there's no getting around it.

21 December, 2005 19:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So if piercing is something the under 29 crowd does to distinguish themselves from their more senior counterparts (sorry, I'm a little late entering the conversation)then the over 29 crowd should start piercing every visible part of their body...maybe that would stop the madness temporarily as the rebellious ones rethink their strategy, OR:Let's get some Dr. Evil type to build an electromotive pulse generator strong enough to electrocute people with multiple piercings...perhaps that would thin the herd.

21 December, 2005 22:10  
Blogger Father of 3 said...

Reading your blog and the comments made me realize something. Johnny Damon's STUPID long hair and STUPID beard make him look like a jackass. Maybe he's too pussy to get a tat or a piercing and thinks the only way to make himself stand out is stay away from personal grooming tools and shampoo.

As a Met fan, it's not Damon leaving the Sox that bothers me, it's the team he ended up with. At least Pedro helped put a stick in Steinbrenner's eye by signiung with the Mets. Damon...what a dick.

22 December, 2005 10:21  
Blogger Andraste said...

Actually, I kind of like that he went to the Yankees, in a sick way. First off, as I keep saying, they're overpaying for a guy who can't throw, and who's on the downturn of his career. If Georgie signed him to somehow 'stick it to the Sox,' it was miscalculated. Fans will come around and realize that it was a TERRIBLE signing for the yanks. Their fans are already pissed. It was a baaaaad move for them.

Second, Damon is a whiner. He's always shooting his mouth off in the press, with very little of anything intelligent to say. He's a bitch. Yanks fans will also have reason to regret signing him. He causes dissension and back-biting.

Good riddance - and hey, Yankee fans: good luck with that.

22 December, 2005 10:30  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Boston Sux
John's Cousin Matt

22 December, 2005 11:06  
Blogger Andraste said...

Matt- how enlightening. Thanks for your lovely, intelligent, well-spelt, and edifying comment.

Now fuck off. If you comment here again without anything interesting or smart to say, I'll just delete your comment.


22 December, 2005 11:08  

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