Sunday, April 09, 2006

Fuck running, fuck it, and the horse it rode in on.

Yesterday, at the beginning of what would have been a good, long work out, my elliptical machine broke. For the next five days at least, I will have no access to my cardio work.

So, this morning, I thought I'd run around the block a couple of times. Just got back. Just put my lungs back in my throat, and rubbed my knees down to console them for the MISERY I just put them through. Three times my bodyweight of pressure on EACH foot, on EACH STEP??? My poor boobs, too. They're not happy either.

Fuck running. Fuck people who run. Fuck the whole concept. Clearly, I'm not built for it. I want my elliptical back. Why can I be on that thing at high resistance for over and hour, and I can't run a CUNTING QUARTER MILE without puking???

People enjoy this? Fucking masochistic cunts.

I am buying a new elliptical and NEVER going through that again.


Blogger Kim Ayres said...

Try Tai Chi - much easier on the knees, the lungs and the boobs.

09 April, 2006 18:52  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Oh poor old you, that's a pain I hate when somethine break on me. Especially something I like.
Get a good support sports bra. I run twice a week and while I am not a big fan- I prefer the bike- it does get easier.

10 April, 2006 04:22  
Blogger Andraste said...

Oh, believe me, FMC. I do have a lot of good sports bras. I just think my 'frame' can't take the impact. I can run on a treadmill, where the impact is reduced, and while that's not much fun unless there's a TV in front of me, with something entertaining to watch, it's not nearly as painful.

And I can run in the context of another sport, like basketball or tennis, where you forget you're running because of the object of the're after the ball, and you're trying to win.

It's this straight out, skeleton killing, concrete underfoot... it is a destroyer of joy.
Anyway, I found a machine in the Sears circular in the Sunday paper that I can afford. I'm going to call them as soon as they're open and make sure it's in stock.

Then I'm going to jump in my truck and go get it.

And hope that assembling it doesn't destroy my will to live.

10 April, 2006 08:36  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

You're right. Concrete is a bitch, I run on a thread otherwise my shins hurt after half a mile. Bleaugh, really feeling full of mingosity today.

10 April, 2006 09:46  
Blogger Rachy said...

what the fuck is an elliptical machine?

10 April, 2006 12:27  
Blogger Andraste said...

Rachy, they're sort of like the old Nordic Track cross country ski machines, but they're easier to use and give you more workout bang for your buck. A great cardio workout machine for the home. Zero impact, so it's easy on the knees and boobs. Take a look at this link. The one pictured on this page looks like my poor, dead machine.

10 April, 2006 14:08  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I enjoy running for the sense of entitlement. On Saturdays I will run 10 to 13 miles. Do you think I feel any guilt about drinking heavy dark beer after that? I've earned that. I kicked my ass for that.

11 April, 2006 10:21  
Blogger tgic said...

Running rode in on a horse?!?

Sorry, I had to.

I'm trying to get myself back into jogging, but I can't say that I love it, I just hate paying for the meathead-laden gym.

18 April, 2006 11:59  

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