Friday, April 14, 2006

"YOU, SMARTASS...OUT IN THE HALL. NOW!"


Here's another one of those jokes that got me kicked out of Catechism class in grade school. Oh yeah, I'm hell-bound.

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Picture the scene: Jesus on the cross, centurions all around, apostles at the bottom of the hill, weeping and wailing.

The apostle Peter hears Jesus' voice, faintly calling him. It's barely a whisper, but he hears insistence in it, and realizes he's GOT to get to the top of the hill to hear the wisdom Jesus has to bestow upon him.

So he starts climbing. Of course, the centurions slap him around a little, throw him back down the hill.

He hears the voice again. "Peter...Peter..." So he starts climbing again. Centurions are a little impatient by this time, beat him up a bit more severely, now he's got some bruises, a broken hand, maybe a broken rib or two. And back down to the bottom of the hill he goes.

Again, "Peter...Peter...." Desperate to hear whatever it is Jesus wants to tell him, he once again starts to climb. This time, the centurions decide to just let him. He's in too rough shape to provide any aid or chance of escape to Jesus at this point, so they decide it's not worth the bother.

Peter gets to the top of the hill. "What is it Lord?" he says, panting. "What is it that you wish to say to me?"

"Peter," Jesus says in a weak, shaky voice. "Peter... I can see your house from here."

Badoom, badoom, TSSHHHHHHHH.

5 Comments:

Blogger fatmammycat said...

oer, I smell sulphur...

14 April, 2006 11:52  
Blogger Foot Eater said...

Yes, was that a stand-up comic's drum signature at the end or the sound of your house being destroyed by the wrath of the Lord?

14 April, 2006 13:33  
Blogger Andraste said...

FMC - Is THAT what sulphur smells like? I thought it was just some gas from last night's beer and Chinese takeaway.

Good question, Footie. It'll be interesting to see when I get home tonight if it's a pile of rubble. But I don't think the Lord would smite my kitties. My husband is Catholic, so he might have bought us a pass on the house destruction. Cross your fingers!

14 April, 2006 13:44  
Blogger Miss Litzi said...

SHE’S going to get you for this one!

14 April, 2006 20:10  
Blogger Tree said...

My niece just got kicked out of her catechism class last year for telling that joke. I laughed my ass off when she told me. Somethings never change.

15 April, 2006 21:47  

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