Thursday, June 08, 2006

...what they said...

So, blogger was down most of yesterday, and I couldn't update this, comment on anyone else's stuff, or even see the pictures on most people's blogs.

Therefore, all the especially witty remarks everyone else seemed to be able to make yesterday? Let's just say I thought it first, but couldn't get in to say it. Meh.

Here's something my brother sent me yesterday. I've edited it with my own personal touches, and present it here, for your edification. I am going to print it, get it notarized, and make really frigging sure my husband has a copy should anything disastrous happen to me, and I suggest that anyone who doesn't want to end up like that Terry Schiavo do the same.


I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.

If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following:

______a Bloody Mary
______a Guinness
______a Vodka and Tonic
______Macaroni & Cheese
______any of my pets
______the remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______the sports page or a book
______Salt and vinegar potato chips

it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day. My remains can then be shot out of a cannon over the next Republican National Convention.

Signature: ___________________________
Date: ___________________________


Blogger fatmammycat said...

What is up with bloody blogger? I tried t post yesterday and I was sent packing! Firstly I think Dave is an excellent name for a dog. As is John.
Secondly, be careful throwing switches and what not, my grand aunt- Gamma's sister- had an brain hemorrhage years ago when I was about thirteen and slipped into a coma. When surgeons tried to operate to stem the bleed they couldn't becasue she spasmed on the operating table, so they had no option to to leave her be. She was in a coma for nine months in Saint Vincents.
The doctor kept saying thing's like 'Well really Mrs Greycat thers nothing any of us can do, she's not going to ever come round, and I think you should all prepare yourselves for the inevitable and even if she did come round she would most likely remain in a completely vegetive state'
Alrighty, but she did come round, nine months later, still sharp as a tack. She claimed she could hear us talking to her sometimes-especially in the weeks before she opened her eyes and she despised one of the nurses who she claimed was very rough with her when she moved her. She was able to describe an argument between Gamma and my mother very accurately.
She needed physio to get her muscles back to normal again, but other than that you'd never guess. The surgeon had no answers either as they never actually found the source of the leak or managed to repair it. And she lived for another nine years, and spent it contendedly eating what she liked and drinking too much.

09 June, 2006 06:04  
Blogger P1P said...

We have the same here. Euthanasia should just be allowed. I know it's an emotive issue but if I decide I want to check out I don't expect to have to beg for it or have one of my friends arrested because they have helped.

Can we decide how we want to go? The ultimate skydive! Just cover over the hole I leave.

09 June, 2006 06:32  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

'Mrs Greycat'. Brilliant.

I agree. What if you're lying there dying for a vodka and a packet of salt and vinegar but cant tell them? You're saying to yourself "Hey, I can feel my toe now, every day in every way, I'm getting better and better..." and all you can hear is Dr Butcher asking Mrs Maroon, "can we have his kidneys for Geaorge Best?"

09 June, 2006 07:43  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

WTF is Geaorge Best? George's talentless uncle, that's who.

09 June, 2006 07:46  
Blogger Andraste said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

09 June, 2006 09:58  
Blogger Andraste said...

Fair enough, FMC and Docky, then don't have a living will. But for me it's about quality of life. Sure, my lungs may be pumping with help from a machine, and yeah, maybe I'm listening, but is lying there listening to people's shit any way to live? And I'd really rather not be a pawn for any Bible Thumpers or pro-life wankbag politicians, thank you very much.

But then, I'd kill myself if I lost the ability to walk, my eyesight, or got fat.

09 June, 2006 09:59  

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