It matters? Does it, bollocks!
Close to finishing this fucking employee self-evaluation, so that I can schedule a meeting with my supervisor and he can tell me he doesn't think I'm doing a good job, even though...he really doesn't know what I do anyway. I only hear from him when he's pissed off about something, it seems. No...not looking forward to this process at all.
Bitter? Shit, no. Just a little bemused. Some squirrely little shitbag a few years ago told HR that they wanted a more 'comprehensive' evaluation tool. So instead of just writing a paragraph or two about the job, any successes, failures, challenges and outlook for the coming year, we have a TEN PAGE 'evaluation tool' to fill out, which only starts a long, miserable process of meetings and revisions and reporting back. I'd like to know who it was who asked for this. In fact, I would venture to guess that 90% of the people here would like to storm his office with pitchforks and torches.
The whole thing is so pointless. I won't get a raise based on this evaluation. I'll get the normal cost of living raise, a standard percentage of my salary - which won't be enough so that I can stop doing my freelance work and actually spend my lunchbreaks eating lunch or my evenings and weekends enjoying myself instead of working.
I'm here because I like the job itself, and the people I work with. I like the students, and enjoy feeling as though I'm helping them move on in their process and get them out into the world to do some good. I like the academic calendar and the health insurance. I like that there's no dress code, which is good because I don't make enough to spend money on business attire. Sure, I could make more elsewhere...but the trade off would be working with corporate bastards, in a soulless office cubicle, wearing uncomfortable clothes, or God help me...having to ...gag...travel. The very idea makes me ill.
Anyway, folks, I've got this thing practically done. Looks good, except I am stuck at the 'goals for the coming year' section. They want me to list FOUR goals. FOUR.
...I got nothing. See the previous post for my goals for the coming year. I wasn't kidding. All I want to do is DO MY FUCKING JOB. Is that so WRONG?
But anyway, it's Friday. I am giving serious thought to what type of alcohol I shall be transferring from the outside of my body to the inside, and the venue for such transfer. Evaluate THAT, motherfuckers.
And when you get a second, have a CHAWMING weekend.
Bitter? Shit, no. Just a little bemused. Some squirrely little shitbag a few years ago told HR that they wanted a more 'comprehensive' evaluation tool. So instead of just writing a paragraph or two about the job, any successes, failures, challenges and outlook for the coming year, we have a TEN PAGE 'evaluation tool' to fill out, which only starts a long, miserable process of meetings and revisions and reporting back. I'd like to know who it was who asked for this. In fact, I would venture to guess that 90% of the people here would like to storm his office with pitchforks and torches.
The whole thing is so pointless. I won't get a raise based on this evaluation. I'll get the normal cost of living raise, a standard percentage of my salary - which won't be enough so that I can stop doing my freelance work and actually spend my lunchbreaks eating lunch or my evenings and weekends enjoying myself instead of working.
I'm here because I like the job itself, and the people I work with. I like the students, and enjoy feeling as though I'm helping them move on in their process and get them out into the world to do some good. I like the academic calendar and the health insurance. I like that there's no dress code, which is good because I don't make enough to spend money on business attire. Sure, I could make more elsewhere...but the trade off would be working with corporate bastards, in a soulless office cubicle, wearing uncomfortable clothes, or God help me...having to ...gag...travel. The very idea makes me ill.
Anyway, folks, I've got this thing practically done. Looks good, except I am stuck at the 'goals for the coming year' section. They want me to list FOUR goals. FOUR.
...I got nothing. See the previous post for my goals for the coming year. I wasn't kidding. All I want to do is DO MY FUCKING JOB. Is that so WRONG?
But anyway, it's Friday. I am giving serious thought to what type of alcohol I shall be transferring from the outside of my body to the inside, and the venue for such transfer. Evaluate THAT, motherfuckers.
And when you get a second, have a CHAWMING weekend.
posted by Andraste at 10:01 AM
6 Comments:
Maybe he'll tell you you're doing a terrific job! Ahh, one bottle of wine in and everything is rosy tinted. Have a great weekend missus, and remember, no matter what, you own your own house and have a golly big TV.
Put down as one of your 'Goals' that you would like to reduce the frequency of employee self evals to once every 5-10 years...
4 goals? Mmmm - how about:
Next year will be successful, if I:
1. Like going to work
2. Like teaching
3. Like learning
4. Like myself.
I'm quite serious. These are the goals I have for my kids. I tell their teachers at parent-teacher meetings that I want them to:
Like going to school
Like learning
and
Like themselves.
"we have a TEN PAGE 'evaluation tool' to fill out, which only starts a long, miserable process of meetings and revisions and reporting back"
Jesus fuck, wouldn't it be easier just having a job where you ask "Would you like fries with that?"
Down yer neck, girl. With that job, it sounds like you need it.
I know exactly how you feel. These things are the biggest pain in the hole - they take forever and the end result is mostly irrelevant anyway, as they've already decided what pay rise you're going to get. It's just a way of pretending there's a structure in place that appraises you impartially. I just finished mine and they're upping me a notch because one of the lads just handed in his notice and they don't want me to follow suit. Like a number in a year-end appraisal's going to matter a shite to my decision.
Now if the pay went up a good amount, it'd be a different story.
A right royal waste of time, seems like. Still, just think, there's a whole year now between you and the next self-evaluation. Definitely something to celebrate there!
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