Thursday, November 29, 2007

You KIDDING me with this?

Okay, inspiration has been low lately, I admit. But as I was passing by The Tannery this morning on my way to work, I noticed yet another affront to good taste staring at me from their window. (This is the space that used to be Jasmine Sola, another affront to good taste and common sense, where one could buy a terrycloth tank top in the fluorescent color of your choice, for a mere week's pay. Honestly.) And I thought - well, maybe it's time for an ugly shoe rant. What the hell - haven't done one in a while and I have precious little else to bitch about these days. May as well utilize what little inspiration the world throws my way.

Now, I realize I'm no fashionista. Years of being able to wear jeans to work and never having to dress up have narrowed my wardrobe down to these basic elements: Jeans, sweaters in various shades of green, gray or black, t-shirts, workout clothes, sneakers and boots. Let's face it, if it's not made by Timberland, Doc Martens, Converse, Nike, Levi's, or Carhartt, chances are I won't know what the hell it is or what it's for. This means that every day of my life I'm basically wearing some color variation of the same basic outfit. While this may not be very interesting, it is comfortable, functional, easy - and I can get dressed in the dark without worrying that I'll leave the house in something embarrassing.

But every once in a while, when I turn my blinkered and sleep-encrusted eyes towards something that's so egregiously UGLY, so unbelievably HORRID, there is some little tiny part of my brain that reacts to it and wants to assert that somewhere waaaaay down deep inside this utilitarian soul, there's a sense of style with an actual voice that says "HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE MISSUS, what is THIS? Why...oh, WHY does the fashion industry hate us so???"


But honestly, is a rant really necessary? Do I have to spell out what's wrong with this picture?

Fucking Hell. Stop it. Stop it now.

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9 Comments:

Blogger Annie said...

Tragic. But even more tragic is the fact that my daughter would say, "I want those!" I swear they gave me the wrong baby at the hospital.

29 November, 2007 12:36  
Blogger Medbh said...

Barbie space boots?
Ick.
And double ick to pink.

29 November, 2007 12:48  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

My granny had rollers just like that. If you were an Inuit going to the prom they might be OK but I think some designer somewhere is having a right laugh peddling (ho ho) these. "What can we get them to buy next, Dominic?" Holy rollers!

29 November, 2007 14:22  
Anonymous laughykate said...

Don't get me wrong, I like fashion. Alot. But I can also see through it, cause essentially Fashion is a Nasty Bitch, she fools a lot of people into doing some very stupid things. Maybe Fashion is, yet again, having the last laugh at our expense with those boots. You know something is essentially ugly if it needs six foot amazon women to pull it off.

30 November, 2007 02:01  
Blogger Caro said...

Ya but they're really really warm and toasty...

*skulks away in embarrassment*

30 November, 2007 05:32  
Blogger Andraste said...

Oh, Caro - I'm sure they're warm. And I imagine they're great if you're living someplace extremely cold, where looks count less than avoiding frostbite - but in PINK? I ask you...

I mean, if mountain rescue needs to be able to spot them in a snowbank, wouldn't hunter orange be more appropriate?

30 November, 2007 12:18  
Blogger P1P said...

Every fashion conscious Astrogirl needs a pair.

03 December, 2007 09:09  
Blogger Medbh said...

Just like with those heinous Uggs, the women wear them in temperate climates, not on the mountain tops.

04 December, 2007 14:14  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Fuggs.

05 December, 2007 11:17  

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