Whine, moan, complain.
Back from vacation, and not at all pleased.
Nursed the spouse through pneumonia all last week, and now it appears my immune system has fucked off on holiday. Well...that's a fine how-do-you-do, after all the echinacea, vitamin C, rest, soup and exercise I've given it over the past two weeks.
A short note to my immune system: HEY! I've treated you pretty fucking well, given you the best of care, bolstered you with the most effective vitamins money could buy. No expense was too great for you. I've rested and exercised and eaten well. I've drunk in moderation (TRUE), and washed and scrubbed, like a complete neurotic. And this is how you repay my loving care? You fucking desert me in the middle of cold/flu season, without so much as a note? You think the grass is greener someplace else, you traitorous bitch? Go then, go and find out. And when you decide to come crying back to me, oh, how I'll laugh. Cunt.
Nursed the spouse through pneumonia all last week, and now it appears my immune system has fucked off on holiday. Well...that's a fine how-do-you-do, after all the echinacea, vitamin C, rest, soup and exercise I've given it over the past two weeks.
A short note to my immune system: HEY! I've treated you pretty fucking well, given you the best of care, bolstered you with the most effective vitamins money could buy. No expense was too great for you. I've rested and exercised and eaten well. I've drunk in moderation (TRUE), and washed and scrubbed, like a complete neurotic. And this is how you repay my loving care? You fucking desert me in the middle of cold/flu season, without so much as a note? You think the grass is greener someplace else, you traitorous bitch? Go then, go and find out. And when you decide to come crying back to me, oh, how I'll laugh. Cunt.
posted by Andraste at 5:09 PM
8 Comments:
Well you still got your sense of humor. If I see your immune system I will give it a swift kick in the ass.
Put her on a bus back to Boston! She's in big trouble.
I saw your immune system having a right laugh in the pub last night. Wondered what she was doing there. Especially when I saw her getting off with a nervous system. Maybe she's eloping.
Eek, nothing worse than being poorly. Take hot whiskey, lots of it and return immediately to bed. Repeat as necessary.
Get better soon. Friday Happy Hour is only 55 hours away.
Snorting cocaine will clear your sinuses, and your bank balance. Hey presto! A two for the price of one deal!
Meanwhile, get well soon. Sorry I didn't make your New Years Day slug-a-thon.
Your immune system is of the feminine persuasion; instead of simply telling you what she's not getting, she's being passive aggressive and trying to make you guess...now she's cavorting with another nervous system...you must've fucked up in some awful way.
You should punish your immune system. Drink some hard liquor and sleep in the damp, serves it right.
the grass isn't greener but the effluvium might be.
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