Monday, March 24, 2008

Gurgle.


On a typical Sunday, I try to work out a little harder than other days of the week, because; A) I have the time, B) Saturdays usually involve more fatty foods and a LOT more beer or wine than I drink any other day of the week and need to relieve some of the guilt, and burn some excess fat calories, and C) Monday is a rest day anyway. I can never get up early enough for a workout on Mondays, since I can never get enough sleep Sunday nights, for worrying about...getting enough sleep. See what an awful feedback loop that is? It's ghastly.

But it seems even with the gruelling workout, all my afternoon chores and housecleaning, errands run, big dinner and the reward of a few glasses of nice red wine and some relaxing television, my brain doesn't want to shut down. And because most Sunday night TV is either too violent or insipid, that's when I watch some costume drama or other - Jane Austen, the Brontes, Anna Karenina - whatever features good looking leading men in high boots on horseback. I'm not very romantic, but put a good looking fella in high boots on a horse and now you're talking. And I can't watch anything too violent or scary when I'm detoxing from Saturday or I'll have nightmares. So there's my excuse.

Last night, I was awakened from an absolutely lovely (FILTHY) dream involving Kevin McKidd with his Alexei Vronsky costume draped over a chair, and a little trick he did with his...ummm...never you mind.

3:50 - Whuh. Now THAT was interesting. Didn't think I liked blonds. Go back to sleep, go back to sleep, go back to sleep...

4:10 - Shit. I'm not going back to sleep. That Mr. Knightly in tonight's "Emma" wasn't nearly as good looking as I would like. Way too much forehead. Not fond of Emma anyway, she's almost as insipid as that one in "Mansfield Park" with the big teeth. Okay, if I can't get back to sleep in half an hour, I'll get up and do some reading.

4:30 - Getting that new computer at work - remind myself to look again for any files I forgot to back up. Don't think about WORK! Go back to sleep. I think I already sent that e-mail...Do I need to pee?

4:45 - Okay, give this another 20 minutes and if I don't go back to sleep I'll get up and get stuff done. Maybe I could do a few minutes of cardio - a little bonus workout, since I'm so restless. But then I'll be luggage at work all afternoon when I finally crash.

4:55 - Shit. If I go back to sleep now I can still get a couple of good hours before the alarm goes off. Come on. Damn, that cat is the loudest bather I've ever heard. Okay, maybe a workout and I can make a sandwich for my lunch, maybe gurgle up a blog post or something.

5:15 - Did we leave the toaster oven on? Should I go down to check? Do I need to pee? What's the next Austen thing on Masterpiece Classics? Sense and Sensibility? Did I like the Emma Thompson version? Don't like Hugh Grant, but Alan Rickman is always good.

5:30 - Wha...? Was I dozing? Thanks, purring kitty, for waking me up. Almost got five minutes there. Why do you need to be on my head? Don't yawn in my face - too late. Ugh.

5:45 - Remind myself to follow up with that student who's about to get kicked out for lack of progress. Don't think about work! Don't start composing that e-mail now. Do I need to pee?

6:00 - Okay. Relax - don't move that foot, if the cat wakes up she'll want to play. WHY HAS ALAN RICKMAN NEVER BEEN CAST AS MR. KNIGHTLY? Or has he in some production I don't know about? Hmmm.

6:00 - ZZZZZZZZZZZ....Wha? Jesus! Those recycling guys come by earlier and earlier every week. Beep, beep, beep, SLAM! We must be the first area on their route. I'd hate to have their job.

6:30 - ZZZZZZZZZZZ.....

7:00 - ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ......

7:20 - Buzzzzz. GAHHHHHH! Snooze button.

7:30 - Buzzzzzz. Oh hell no. Snooze button.

7:40 - Mffff! Cry, cry. Up.

6 Comments:

Blogger Medbh said...

I must ask. Ahem. What was the peen trick?

24 March, 2008 14:04  
Blogger Andraste said...

I will never tell. Since it's fictional anyway...

24 March, 2008 14:06  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

I second that request! And also offer squeaks of sleepy sympathy. Insomnia is a stealth mindfuck.

24 March, 2008 15:50  
Blogger nz-ajb said...

The whole process sounds very familiar to me. :( But at least you got to see The Pogues! :) I saw them (minus Shane) at the Fillmore in San Francisco approx. 100 years ago.

Then again, I got in at 2:00 this morning after seeing Wilco in Wellington and had the alarm go off at 6:30. Was almost to work on time too...

24 March, 2008 18:30  
Anonymous Sam, Problemchildbride said...

The thing that surprised me in Sense and Sensibility was that, even at their poorest, they could still afford a maid and a sort of maintenance fellow and they got to live in a perfectly charming cottage you'd have to pay stacks for today.

Poverty has never been so picturesque.

Commiserations on the insomnia, hun. It's as frustrating as fuck. I have a spot of it myself and it's no fun.

24 March, 2008 19:00  
Anonymous laughykate said...

Ohhhhhh I sometimes suffer from that five a.m bing! Bright awake! Work, work, work, work, work, life, work, life, work churn. Shall I get up and work? No, try and sleep. Can't sleep.Turn National Radio on at six cause I won't let myself do that before and cause I'm bored with thinking about work and life, listen to radio.....listen to Pacific bulletin..listen to farming report....listen to 6.30 news weather and spor-....giant marshmellow tractors....butterflies with rubies in their wings.....tropical islands...flying harpsichords...'And it's 7.45 at National Radio..' FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!'

25 March, 2008 03:38  

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